Parallel Universe
by Kerschi-Puky
Summary: What if some theories concerning quantum physics are right? What if there were more universes which need to stay in balance to each other? What if, things that mean luck to others, mean sadness for a mother?
1. Chapter 1

A/N.: I don't own any Odyssey 5 plots, characters or rights and don't make any profit out of it.

_**H**__e opened his eyes. There were only bright lights rushing around. Way too bright._

"_He's awake." An unknown female voice said. _

"_Thank God! He had made it." A male voice responded. He tried to move his head in the direction the voices came from, but he wasn't able to._

"_Shhh, don't move honey." Don't move didn't sound to be a bad idea._

"_Is this your passport?" The male voice asked._

"_Y…" Speaking was hard. He didn't remember speaking being that difficult._

"_Yes?" The female voice asked again._

"_Hmhm", he wasn't able to pronounce more. Hopefully they understood._

"_That's good. You know who you are?" The male voice went on. _

'_Of course I know that', but he wasn't able to speak this thought. He only could agree with some unarticulated sound._

"_Do you know where you are or what has happened?" 'No, but maybe someone would be pleased to tell me' He disagreed._

"_Retrograde amnesia. To be expected." The male voice concluded. _

_He had no idea how long all this took, but it must have been long. He felt tired. He closed his eyes again._

"_Don't worry honey. You'll be okay soon. You just need some time to rest." A hand passed gently through his hair, before he was surrounded by darkness again. _


	2. Chapter 2

**I**t was late at night. Clouds were covering the sky and only sometimes the moon forced his way through them to bring his light down to earth. Who knew how long this would be possible? Nobody, despite of them. They had to fight in a war against the time and against their own demons. Sometimes it was hard to combine their social duties with their duty of saving the world and sometimes this awareness hit them hard.

"Where is your problem?" Neil asked his father irritated.

"That you are ditching school!" Chuck barked at him.

"Okay, yeah, sorry, but…" Neil didn't get a chance to justify. As usual. He was the ass and his father was correct. One would think at the age of twenty-two your parents stop to domineer over you. Far away from that!

"There is no sorry! We had this before and I'm not going to let you get away with this." Other would have been frightened by this cold, military voice, but he wasn't. He was used to it.

"The circumstances got changed and you know that either!" Neil began to yell back. His father had to accept this fact. He had to accept the fact that the scum of the family in reality was a twenty-two year old astronaut who really hasn't to worry about his graduation from school. He would get it, no matter whether he was there or not.

"But that is no excuse for ditching school! If you flunk, we're going to sit in a nice mess and only because you're too cocky for going to school!" Chuck's voice was close to flip over. This volume was probably audible in the whole neighbourhood. Now they got something to talk about behind their back.

"No, it's an excuse, because _you_ told me to do this fucking research, although I told you…" Again his father cut into his sentence.

"You'd better learn how to organize your time!" This wasn't fair.

"Do you sometime listen to yourself? I mean it's not like I have time like a dime a dozen!" Organize your time, what the hell was going on in this head? At least his father was the one who had a nice, easy life while he had to work his butt off to carry out all his duties. Neil do this, Neil do that…Neil you have to, Neil you must… Neil here, Neil there. He really was fed up to the back teeth. His life got a raw deal and as a reward his father folded him flat.

"School is only a revision for you, so stop whining!"

"If you see it that way, then why is it such a big problem that I ditched this single day?" Neil yelled back. For a while there was silence. Neil had caught him, but he'd better had piped down, he knew that and he would feel it after a few seconds.

"Don't dare talking to me like this!" Now his father went postal. If one thought he had been in rage before, he had failed that had only been his warm up.

"Why? I do _your_ job and _you _kick my ass for it!" he was close to freak out, because of his father's behaviour. At least this wasn't the first time his father gave him shit about something he had done against his taste. Nearly everyday his father found some reason to yell at him because of some mysterious mistake. He waited for his father flying into rage only because he was breathing. But as he judged this fight, his father wasn't far away from that.

"Neil, I don't want this language at my home." Great, now his Mum had to horn in too. The only one missing was Marc, but he won't a long time coming.

"Your father is right and if you don't change your behaviour, we are going to discharge measures." This cold, threatening voice of his Mum wasn't something one would get to hear often, only when you were named Neil, a born Taggart and the scum of the family.

"What in fucking hell is this here? A freak show?" Sure, he shouldn't talk like this and let the matter rest, but he didn't want to let his parents pick on him as they always had done. They had to realize that they couldn't treat him like dirt, sometime. His father should be the one to understand his situation and the one who encourage him, at least in some situations, but no, far away from that. He had to knife him, as if he still was the looser, he intrinsic never had been, and let him feel that he would never be able to hold a candle to him or Marc. At least his father should know better, but he still hadn't learned his lesson and this was exactly what drove him up the pole. The fact that his father knew that he would make it, but still treated him as if he wouldn't be able to.

"Neil, one further word and you get the shock of your life!" his father went on.

"Which one fuck or hell?" He screamed. Yes, he should have seen it coming eventually it wasn't the first situation like that, which ended this way. Only that he now wouldn't put up with it, as he had done the first time round. Too much was too much and he had reached his limit.

"I hope this was the last time, because I'm no little boy and I won't allow you to put your hand on me again. Got it?" he hissed at his father, while he looked into his eyes. He knew what his father hated, and this was exactly one of these things. Not hiding for fear, but standing there and looking into his eyes.

"Stop talking that way to your father!" his Mum began to flip.

He took his jacket and went to the door.

"Yeah." he answered.

"You're not going out this night!" his Mum went on. His father only stood there in silence.

He didn't care. He was only in hate and frustration. He could do what he wanted, what they wanted, they never would stop cavil at him and showing him that conversation like this one, was the only thing he deserved. He had entered NASA, but he only had met with criticism and rejection.

"If you go, you don't have to come back again!" his Mum yelled, when he had opened the door. But he already had made his decision.

"Don't worry this is not going to happen." he had calmed down. Why screaming? It wouldn't make things better, as anything would do. He had made his decision and it was time. He had to, before they would break him. He was sure that they didn't count on something like that and they won't believe it, until they hadn't witnessed it. He only had been the weak, but he wasn't and now he would show them. Yes, he was fed up by them, by this time travel, by this whole situation, by this life.


	3. Chapter 3

**M**ore than a year had passed now and since that night, nobody ever had heard or seen anything from Neil. He was vanished, as if he never had existed. His parents had started some half-hearted search operations, but they had given up quite early. They had filed a missing persons report, but didn't really care if their youngest was found or not. Thus life went on as usual.

Angela and Kurt sat in the lobby of a hotel in Vancouver. They had a new trace which let to some obscure actions of some scientists, linked to sentients and synthetics. Sarah had done a report in the news about it and had advised them to it. The Police had found several death teenagers in the age of sixteen to nineteen. It had seemed as if someone had experienced on them, what had let to their death. Nobody knew what they had done to them and why. Kurt and Angela had agreed to follow the trace Sarah had given them, while she was looking for further information. And now they sat there, no idea what to do, where to search for what. They sat there in silence. They had turned whole Vancouver upside down, but found nothing. It was late at night and both were visibly tiered, but they weren't ready to give up at this point.

Angela took a sip of her cognac and looked at Kurt. He had become thoughtful; no he always had been a thoughtful man. He had become mature. He had abandoned his playboy-attitude. Okay sometimes he suffered form a relapse, but he appeared to be more responsible and concerned about life, duties and the people around him. 'Stop this shit', she told herself. 'You can't fall in love with this man again. It would be too much of a risk.' It had been once, a second time she wouldn't be able to escape.

"Do you sometimes think of him?" she only wanted to break the silence to stop her thoughts playing tricks with her feelings.

"Whom? Neil?" he asked. They way he asked, his whole behaviour had become calmer as it had been, before his disappearance. She nodded.

"Sometimes." he only answered.

"I sometimes would like to know what he's doing." she went on. She needed to talk about it. After Neil had left, there had been a huge gap nobody before had thought of, he had filled. She had to talk about this, because she wondered about herself, having to think of this boy she only had thought of revival she had to get rid of. Now she got rid of him, but it felt strange, still felt strange.

Kurt didn't answer, just nodded, his sign for her, to go on. Another change. He let her do the talk and listened carefully. Before it had been him, talking and when she told him something just pretending to hear what she said, while he already had reached another topic in his mind.

"I mean it's strange, I never thought I would…" Yeah, what would she never have thought of? How to put it into words? He looked at her and realized her struggling for words.

"miss him?" he tried to complete her sentence.

"Yeah, I guess." he wasn't in the mood for talking about it, she saw it. She knew it hit him hard, when they had asked Chuck where Neil had been, and he only had indifferently answered that he had left a week ago.

"You take it to your heart, don't you?" she asked, but she already knew that she went too far with this question.

"Listen Darling, only why I don't appreciate that Chucky has a nice family vacation while we're sitting round here trying to clear up the mess junior had wreaked only because he's not enough of a man, having the courage to stay, it doesn't mean that I take his cowardly disappearance to my heart." With these words he finished his third whisky this night and went to his room, probably to get some more drinks. 'Yes, you take it to your heart', she thought inwardly. If he wouldn't care, he wouldn't have exploded, but let lose one of his indifferent aphorisms. It was a new experience for her to see that Kurt developed a feeling of care for other people aside from himself. This was what made her being attracted to him again. 'No, end of it, I'm not going to repeat my mistake. I have made a decision and it was the right one', she had to reprove herself. Maybe the idea she could get along with Kurt alone in an unknown city without any complicacy was wrong. The whole thing was going to be more complicated as she thought it would be.

* * *

He reached his room and let himself fell onto the bed. What the hell was Angela thinking? That he became one of these sensitive wimps that began to be depressed only because one of their friends left them behind without a word. No, he wasn't struck by Neil eff off. How could this boy be able to? He got up, got another whisky, his fourth? or fifth?. He slumped down on the couch and switched on the TV. But he didn't concentrate on what was running. Angela had looked clearly through him he was nothing more than a glassy façade for her. She had been right. It hit him, when he got to know that Neil had left. It was the first time he had the feeling that there was a person that understood him, despite Angela of course. These fluent exchanges of ideas and at long last there was a person that understood what he was talking about, when he mentioned the genetic fingerprint, gel electrophoresis or about the advantages of the DNA-library in a bacteriophage. A person who understood all this, without being one of this boring scientist's only alive for their microbial strain, but knowing how to live. Neil really had been a friend for him, not only understanding, but also criticising, in a constructive way. He missed their conversations and his way making fun of certain situation which in general weren't funny. When he had plaid Chucky for a sucker, without him to recognize: _He's my commander and I try to forget that he's my Dad_. Chuck didn't even recognize the smug undertone. His son also had been the only one standing to him. Unfortunately this hadn't been just a stupid game. It had been a real fight and Neil had thrown in the towel. While Kurt had to think about all these things he realized that Neil not only had been a friend. For him, he had been something like a protégé. He had helped him to use his skills, how to cope with it. The first time he realized, when he had talked to him about Holly and his problem whether being physical with her or not. This should have been a problem to discuss with your father, but not with a… what did he mean to him? Probably nothing, if he was able to leave like that. 'Damn it, I have had lots of friends which went off without sign and I didn't bother, why the fuck now?' Why did this boy, who only was looking for someone who let him be who he was, bother him that bad? It was this insecurity, not knowing whether he still was alive, whether he was happy now and it was frustration. Frustration because Chuck wasn't able to see what gift children were and how to enjoy their presence, their growth, their progress, but only behaved as if they were a burden. He would do everything to turn back the time and to make things better. Why hadn't he recognized that Angela had been expecting a baby and why hadn't he been able to keep her from putting her career in first place? He never would have allowed his son running away from his family that way, he also hadn't allowed his son feeling inferior not owning enough self-esteem to bear the burden of being individual. No, he had to stop thinking about this. Maybe he should talk about it to Angela? She had begun to trust him more than ever; maybe he should start doing the same? Maybe he could win her back, win back the opportunity of having an own family? Yes, he would go to her and talk. He needed to get rid of these thoughts and Angela was the perfect person for this kind of talk. He put his whisky onto the table and went through the corridor of the hotel. She had a room on the same level. All doors were white with golden numbers. This matched to the carpet, coloured in different green tones. 404, here it was. He wanted to knock, but hesitated. There was something what hindered him. He couldn't just knock on her door and waiting for her to open. He couldn't go into this room, sitting down somewhere and talk to her about his inside. He never had done so. He wasn't able to do so. However this had been one of the reasons why they had broke up with each other. No, he had to go in there and begin to tell her, what he felt. He had to start showing her that he wasn't a childish jerk anymore, showing her that he had grown up.

'No, I can't. She would laugh about me, about my behaviour. She would see it as a joke.' He would lay himself open to an attack. He hadn't realized that he was on his way out of the hotel. When he had reached the street, he was aware that he had left the hotel and wasn't standing in front of her door anymore. 'Well done Mr. Mendel, you've lost one of the best chances you could have gotten. Idiot!' Why wasn't he able to muster up enough courage to talk to the woman he wanted to have a family with? You're such a fucking idiot he bitched about himself. He got into his car and drove through the streets of Vancouver. He could easily drive home and ran away from this situation. No, he couldn't. He wasn't able to leave Angela alone here.


	4. Chapter 4

_**H**__e opened his eyes again, but his sight still was blurred. A striking pain in his leg, a never ending stabbing one in his back, his skin felt as if it was burning. The rest of his body? One never ending pain. His head felt as if it was going to explode. He wished he would die. He never had felt such awful in his life. Every passing second in this pain was too much for him, but something kept him hanging on. What was it? He felt a hand on his forehead, something poking in his ear._

"_His temperature has risen." Again this female voice, he had no idea to whom it belonged to. His sight was such blurred that he wasn't able to distinguish anything. He began to feel more awful by every painful breath he took. Even breathing was way too hard for him. He wanted to be free from all this pain. Then he felt e lump in his throat._

"_Honey, don't cry." The female voice said. 'How? I don't know where I am, I don't know what had happened, my whole body is one pain and here is nobody I know. Damn it, I'm not only one wandering pain, but even lonely. That's enough reason to cry!'_

"_Shhh, your Mum is on her way. Just settle down. You need to rest." Again a hand, which stroke through his hair. 'But I want her now to be here. She has to wake me up, telling me I have to go to school and asking me, whether I had a bad dream. She has to be here NOW to make the pain go away.'_

"…_vitals got worse." Again a male voice, but even this voice he didn't know where it belonged to._

"_We should try a medically included coma." The male voice went on. 'Hey stop right there! May I intervene? This is nothing you should decide without asking me!'_

"_Is his circulation stable enough for that?"_

"_Not particularly, but he won't make it under this circumstances."_

"_Then we have no other chance." 'Hallo! Maybe there is, you only need to ask me. I always know an alternative solution! Hey, this is far away from being fair. You make use of my weakness.' He wanted to fight against this, but he still wasn't able to move._

"_Don't panic. Everything is fine. You'll be okay, I promise." She said again. 'Wow, someone I even don't know make promises. Even my parents never had been able to hold them, so I don't guess that you are.' He again began to be awfully tired, his eyes closed be themselves and then he faded away into the darkness of beautyfull numbness. _


	5. Chapter 5

**I**t wasn't that late, seven in the evening. He knew he was way too drunk to drive, but hell. His best friend had left and he wasn't able to tell the most important person of his life that he loved her, so why be careful? When it was over then it was over. There would some nice brown-nosed articles in the newspapers explaining the huge loss they all would suffer after his death and two hours later life would go on. Neil's disappearance was the best example that really nobody cared whether one was dead or alive, not even your parents.

Suddenly he got the feeling that he wanted to treat Angela with something special. No, better something she wouldn't expect from him. Didn't she like these disgusting chocolate bars in combination with milk? 'Oh yeah, she does and this sweet milksop on her lip and then I would have a reason to go to her.' He stopped the car at the next shop and went in, searching for the shelves with candies.

"Hey Neil, do you more like salami or fungi?" A female voice called through the shop. The name struck him like lightning. Immediately he looked around, but _he_ wasn't there.

"Uh, both." There it was. This cheeky voice, no this couldn't only be an accident. He was here somewhere, but…there he saw him. He really was there. But instead of going to him he turned to the shelves and took Angela's chocolate bars. 'What shell I do now? Shell I go over and just say hallo? No, he had his reasons not to give anyone, not to give me a damn fucking call', he began to swear. No this condition wasn't good for a first hallo after years.

"Cormorant!"

"Hey, after weeks of parenteral nutrition you would do the same." Shock. 'Oh my God, Neil!?' He turned around again and saw him in full person, propping himself on crutches. His left knee was wrapped into a splint, raging from the thigh to calf, his left wrist also supported by a splint and on the whole left arm he could see the scars which were left by a healed but heavy skin abrasion. 'Ouch. This must have hurt awfully'. He got remembered of his last abrasion.

"Show-off." She said teasingly. These two looked quite familiar to each other. Maybe he had found a girl and because of her he stayed here in nowhere.

"You're only huffy because now you still have to share a room with Mrs. I-know-all-although-I'm-hundred-percent-brainless."

"Uh, sometimes you can be so unfair." She gently put an arm around him and then gave him a kiss onto his mouth. 'No wonder why he had forgotten his family, with this girl.' It felt good in somehow, to see him laughing. It felt good to see that he was alive and maybe in best hands.

"I know." Both began to laugh and went to the cash desk. Fast he went to the multi deck cabinet, grabbed a bottle of milk and followed them. Cuddled up to each other, they waited to pay their stuff. He was directly behind Neil, but he was too busy with his girl, as if he would have been able to be aware of anything else. Should he say hallo? 'No, this would be a little bit indiscreet. But fucking hell, what are a couple of minutes in comparison to a year.' But maybe the boy had his reasons why he hadn't called one of them.

"Mr.?" The cashier asked him. Drowned in his thoughts he hadn't recognized that the two teenagers were gone. He quickly paid his stuff and rushed out of the shop. They hadn't been far.

"Neil!" He called. Now he wasn't thinking about what he did. His emotions in somehow had taken control. He had seen a long missed friend again and he wanted to talk to him. He wanted to know why he had left, why he hadn't gave them a call, what had happened to him. He wanted to win his friend back again. No matter where he lived. He only wanted this friend back. He wanted to know why he had pushed off instead of coming to him, asking for help.

"Neil!" He called out again and ran after them. The stopped and turned around. Now he could see into his face. He was pale. But there was something missing. And it wasn't difficult to guess what it was, what was missing. The sad look in his eyes had been vanished. He looked satisfied and happy. He never had thought that this boy could look that way.

"Neil, hey what are you doing here?" He asked him. It was strange. Neil looked at him, confused.

"Sorry, do we know each other?" This question, these few words broke down all hopes. What was that? This boy couldn't have forgotten…' Maybe he just doesn't want to remember because of what has happened or what ever.' He had to recall this boy's memory.

"I guess we should. It's me Kurt Mendell this playboy scientist only thinking with…you know what."

Neil looked at him confused. Neil was heavily thinking he could see it.

"Kurt Mendell? Dr. Kurt Mendell…The dancing gene…or something like that." Neil began to stammer. Was this a way of aspersion? It was! What in hell's name got into this boy? He…they had gone through the end of the world and now Neil decided no to know him? What a cheap and lousy measure was this? He flew into rage. Maybe he should stop being friendly.

"Okay, what the fuck had Chucky done that you've pissed off like a coward and now pretend not to know me?"

"What?…I mean…Sir how do you know about this?" He asked him stunned. No. This wasn't true. If Neil wasn't a straight A actor, he would say that Neil really had no idea who was standing in front of him. But he seemed to know his father. Why had he forgotten him, but not his father? There were much more reasons for him to forget the man who had forced him to leave his friends.

"C'mon Neil, we should go." The girl grabbed his arm and started to pull him away.

"No. Wait! You know Chuck Taggart?" Kurt went on, reluctant to let this boy go.

"My father, unfortunately." Neil answered with bitterness. 'Alright he knows his father and his feelings for him. That's a start.'

"And you know your Mum Paige and your brother Marc…"

"Yes, but I have no idea what you want from me." Now he sounded irritated.

"Why in fucking hell did you leave?"

"With all respect Sir, but I don't think that my family affairs are your business." Then he turned away and went off. He stood there, listening to the girl, talking about a bad mix-up. She didn't know that this was no mix-up. Neil didn't know that this was none. He felt as if someone had slapped his face, no as if Neil by himself had slapped his face. He got into his car and drove back to the hotel, straight to Angela.

* * *

Now he stared at the golden 404. He slammed at the door.

"Angela! Are you there?" He screamed. The visitors of the room next to hers came out, looking for what was going on.

"Angela! Please, I've seen him!"

"Kurt, one moment please." She opened the door clothed in a hotel's bath robe, wet hair. She must have taken a shower.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked him irritated.

"Some chocolate?" He asked her, showing her the choco bars and Milk to calm her down.

"What?" She didn't get the point.

"Darling, let me in and I explain you everything." She made space for him, to slide into her suite. She took the bottle of milk, picked a glass, poured the milk and took a huge sip of it. She looked so sweet full of fury and then with this milksop. Maybe he should lay her down first? 'No, stop that!' She took a chocolate bar and bit off.

"Okay Kurt, what's your problem?" With this question his whole agitation about what had happened came back.

"I've seen him."

"Him? Who's him?" She asked. After one glass milk and a chocolate bar she was the calmest and understanding person on earth.

"Neil. I've seen Neil." She looked at him and began to laugh.

"You definitely had some drinks more than it would have been good for you."

"Angela, this hasn't been a hallucination. I talked to him." He needed to make her believe.

"Okay, well, what did he say?"

"That…" What did he say at all? Nothing really or? He only had tried to make clear to him that they didn't know each other.

"Kurt, I'm listening."

"He hadn't said something in particularly he…"

"Kurt you'd better go to bed and get sober again." She didn't believe him.

"Angela I was on my way to a shop, to get you this stuff and there I've seen him. You can go there and asked the cashier." From one to the other moment her glance changed and she sat down on the couch, rubbing her forehead with her hand. She focused him for a while. He tried only by his appearance to make her believe. She must feel that he told the truth.

"You really met him?"

"Yes Angela I did." She let out a sigh.

"Oh my God and what…I mean…" She began to stammer. She was stunned. She was thinking he saw how her furrowing her brows.

"He…he…he didn't remember me. I can't tell you why, but he looked at me, as if I was a complete stranger. He really got me frightened." He sat down next her. The tension had left his body and he wasn't able to remain standing.

"What? Has he lost his memories?" She asked worried, turning her head towards him, looking into his eyes. Her eyes began to comfort him, telling him that he had done everything right, although she had no idea what had happened exactly.

"No…I don't think so. He can remember his family, Chuck and Paige and Marc and that he…" It felt hard to speak these words, words which were so hurtful although they weren't meant for him.

"…that he hates his family?" She took the part for him.

"Yes." She had come closed to him, stroking his arm, soon taking him into an embrace. She had figured what the boy had meant to him. In real, both had cared more for the boy as they had admitted. Only the two knew what he meant to both of them and both carried inwardly the feeling, as if they were the only persons suffering under his loss. This idyll was broken, when Angela began hammering his arm, not bad, but he would get a nice bruise.

"Who in hell are you to drive around Vancouver after three Whisky?"

"Five." He only responded. She began to beat harder.

"You could have been involved in an accident and then I would have been alone…here. Isn't it enough that we have lost Neil? Do I have to lose you as well?" He had no idea what the out burst was supposed to mean. She broke into tears and he put his arms around her, tough that she knew that she was safe. She hid her face on his chest and cried. Only cried and cried.

"I didn't think about it at that time."

"What were you thinking?" She asked when she was sober again and know cuddled into Kurt's arms. She didn't believe his last sentence.

"Lonely, empty. I mean who cares when you die? Nobody cares. They say some sloppy words about how sorry they are that you're dead and later they go on as if nothing has happened. Look at Neil…"

"He's not dead, that's for sure." She intervened.

"Right, but nevertheless, who cares? His friends don't care. They go on with school and their parties with drugs and alcohol. Nobody of them ever had started an attempt to search for him." It felt good to talk with her about this. He felt relieved and her warm body on his chest, the smell of her hair made him forget all the rage and fury which were related to this topic. They only talked, let the words float.

"And his parents, who really should care, are now on a nice little vacation somewhere in Mexico."

"While they have fun, Neil has to care for a bad knee."

"What?"

"He must have been involved in a bad accident. He still seemed to suffer under some effects from injuries."

"No, that's not true. Poor boy."

"But I guess he's happy with his life. He had lost this sad expression in his eyes and he has a new girl. They really looked happy."

"At least one thing, which sounds good to me. Do we search for him?"

"I don't know. Let us sleep a night about this idea." He got up. He wanted to go.

"Kurt, would you mind to stay?" She asked in a quite and calm voice.

"If you want me to, I can sleep on the couch."

"Or by my side."


	6. Chapter 6

**S**he didn't regret her decision she had made last night. Her fears about being together with him again had vanished, after their conversation, after he had shown her his feelings, after he didn't blame her doing the same. In somehow she didn't care much about her career. She had realized that she didn't want to leave earth and nobody cares, as nobody cares after Neil had left. She had realized the value of having someone who really loves you, who really cares whether you was fine or not, someone who knows your quirks and although hating them, loves you for them. A career at NASA never could give her all that, all the warmth, the heart, the comfort, the shelter. Only he could, because he understood her. He knew every single fibre of her and she knew every single fibre of him. Her fear of being a couple again became stupid in front of this background. He was the one she wanted to spend every second of her life with and the fact that this might last not longer then a few years, made her decision being the best she ever had made.

He woke up, turning to her, kissing her, ginning when he saw that she returned the kiss.

"Darling how about some breakfast?" He asked her in a gentle and soft voice. This voice assured none of his hundreds playmates ever had heard. She knew that, because this voice revealed more of his inside he ever would show someone he only wanted to have a nice little fuck with. What they had was more.

"That would be great." He got up and she waited for him.

* * *

"And what do you think?" She began the conversation about the topic they had driven away last night.

"I don't know. It is obviously that he doesn't remember me. It doesn't make sense to bother him if he even has no inkling who we are." This sounded hard. They had missed this cheeky monkey for so long and now he seemed to be that close but although that far away that they could never reach him.

"But maybe we can find out, what caused this memory loss. I mean isn't it strange that he only had forgotten us?"

"Yeah, more than strange, but what shell we do?" She saw how it hurt him that he might have lost this friend for the rest of his life.

"And what about his parents? We should inform Chuck." It was not fair if they didn't give him the slightest chance to talk to his youngest again. And what about Paige? She had trouble to believe that she was that indifferent about her youngest disappearance. It wouldn't match to her. She nearly had died of sadness and desperation when Marc had left this one night. This couldn't be different this time.

"Do you really think that this is a good idea? If he wanted to talk to his parents or see them, he would have given them a call, he would have told them where he was, what he obviously hasn't done yet. I don't think that this would any help." 'Could you pleas switch of your hate and start to think like the objective scientist you are?'

"But did you ever thought of how hard this must be for his parents?" she tried to make him understand the other side of this parents-son-fight.

"Angela did Chucky ever seemed sad to you after Neil had left? Did he ever complain about that he wasn't there anymore?" Kurt nearly began to scream. Family really was his sore point. Maybe because he never had a real family? But when she began to think about who had a real family? Sarah had divorced from Paul and now fought for Corry's custody, her own father had betrayed her mother and ruined a nice family life, and Kurt's situation hadn't been different with the difference that his mother left and he had quite a good relationship to his father and then there was Neil and his family tragedy. No, no real holly family in sight.

"Sorry Kurt, but I just can't believe that Paige feels the same as Chuck. Eventually she is his mother. She must have feelings for him and not only feelings of rage."

"Are you talking about this mother-child-connection? Do you really think in a time of abortion this really exists? In a time in which women immolate the child for the career?" 'Oh, now I know what this all is about, but not with me buster.'

"Okay, I know what you mean, but this situation had been a bit more difficult at the point of time. You weren't there and I had no idea if I ever would see you again. I had no other chance, because if you never had come back, I would have sat there alone with a child and no securities. It just wasn't possible for me and it had NOTHING to do with my career, got it?" She screamed the last sentences, slammed her hand on the table and wanted to leave. What in hell's name had let her to the assumption that things might have changed? That Kurt might have changed and that she might share her life with this bloody asshole of idiot?

"Angela, wait." he grabbed her wrist.

"It wasn't meant…I mean, I wasn't thinking about you in this moment." He started to explain her.

"But it hurts. Kurt it hurts so badly, because it had been the worse decision in my life and there is no day I'm not regretting it, but I can't make it undone." Again she felt how tears build in her eyes. He took her into his arms.

"I know Darling, I know." What had gotten into her? She couldn't answer this question. It was as if she couldn't hold back all these secrets between them anymore, all these secrets which probably had destroyed their life as a happy couple.

"Maybe we can start again and I promise you I'll never leave you, I'll never leave you alone with such a huge responsibility."

"But…"

"No but, only trust me. You can do that I know, you only have to allow yourself to lay yourself into my trust."

"I'll try me best, but it's not as easy."

"Then we have to start slow. Two steps forward and one back." These words said by a man who usually wanted all at once. For her he would start being slow?

* * *

They had tried to find Neil, but it seemed to be impossible. He was vanished, as he had this night. They went back to Texas, without having any success. Okay, what was meant by success? 'I have won back my love and we're ready for each other. Well, thanks I'm fine; no I couldn't be any better!' Okay, the thing with Neil had been a bit sad, but she had tried to explain to Kurt that he really might have played a role. Maybe Neil had made a cut, not caring for their five year mission, his friends his parents. Kurt had become angry because, according to him, this was the worse and lousiest way to piss off. 'Wow, since when had he started to swear? I always thought this was my job.' She had calmed him down. Explaining that it might be related to the way Chuck and Paige had treated him. That he needed this gap to cope with all these negligence and fights. That he needed this gap to cope with all these reproaches and Chuck's rough hand. Yes, she knew that he slapped his youngest when he didn't work as his father had wanted him to, but she also knew that Neil had reached a point he didn't care about that either.

And what about these teenagers? The police had found the murderer. It had been a crazy psychopath who had liked to torture his victims in an ugly manner of way, nothing about Sentients, synthetics or Cadre. In conclusion they had reached nothing. Yes, he was missing. With him they maybe earlier had found out that they had been wandering on a wrong track in this case. Yes, she still missed this cheeky monkey and the fact that he ignored them hurt. 'What the hell do we have to do with him and his family? I can understand that he hates and ignores them, but us? We haven't done anything.' And maybe this was the point. They really hadn't done anything. They hadn't done anything to help him in this situation. They hadn't given him any support, even not then, when Chuck had started to fold his son flat in front of them. Nobody ever had tried to stop Chuck. Sure, _this_ had been their mistake. Thinking he would cope with it anyway. Not thinking that once he might reach his limit and than just break free from all these chains, keeping him.

They had decided to meet in the diner again. They waited for Sarah and Chuck to come. Sarah was first, with a big fad smile on her face, they never had seen before. Today she really seemed to be happy and satisfied. 'If I could be that way, if I'd knew that my son was going to die?', Angela thought.

"Hallo all together." She greeted them and took a seat in front of Angela.

"Okay, what has happened that you're so happy theses days?" Angela went like a bull at a gate.

"Cory has a stomach flu." She answered cheering. 'What pills did she take today?'

"And this is enough reason for you being that happy?" She asked.

"Oh yeah. It means that he has no gastro-intestinal tumour, so no cancer."

"Uhm…I don't wanna destroy all your hopes, but what makes you that sure about this?" Kurt kept on.

"First of all, in old timeline he already had shown symptoms, but in this one not and then I let him test and they said there were no tumour cells and no other signs that he once might get them."

"Wow, then we hope he stays healthy." Angela said.

"And now the best thing: Paul can't take away Cory from me and my chances for receiving the custody are getting better and better." She sounded enthusiastic. No wonder, all her fears and suffering for lose from her. She wouldn't lose her son.

"And how did you manage that?" Angela asked her. It was visible that Sarah would have liked to talk about that to the whole world.

"I went to a psychologist and talked to her. She came to the conclusion that my fears concerning Cory are related to my job. You know reporting about all these scary and bad news. So she said that, if I'd quit my job as news anchor it would get better. And that's what I did. I went to Troy, told him to give my job to this little blonde bitch and give me some reports for the pillow news. And that's it."

"So you're going to make a thoroughly impression to the judge." He concluded.

"Yes, I do." She answered, still smiling.

The door of the diner was opened and Chuck entered, but he wasn't alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**H**e had no clue what this was supposed to mean. If Chucky thought this guy would be able to replace his friend, he had baldy failed. Neil never could be replaced by anyone and especially not by a dumbfounded guy like that one. 'What a disgusting brown-noser.'

"Hey, fellows." Chuck greeted them, as usual with a toothpick in one corner of his mouth, smiling lordly.

"Hi!" Sarah replied still not having lost her mood. He threw a look at Angela and she understood, nodded that she thought the same.

"Uhm…Chuck, may I have a second with you?" Kurt asked him.

"Sure, what's the problem?" He and Chuck went out of the diner. This guy shouldn't listen to that. It wasn't his fault that his father was such an asshole.

"Chuck what's that supposed to mean?" He started, without hiding his irritation.

"What?"

"Him! I mean, why is he here?" Kurt knew that Chuck only played the role of the innocent although he knew he wasn't.

"We've lost one and I thought it was time to bring a replacement." 'A replacement? How? This guy has no idea of anything and obviously he isn't a quarter as intelligent as…' He was dragged out by Chuck.

"I told him and Paige everything and when I asked my son if he would like to help, he said yes. Where's the problem?" He had trouble to believe that this man ignored the fact that there had been another son, who now was probably somewhere in Canada.

"He doesn't know anything." This guy hadn't been with them in this shuttle. He never had seen a synthetic or a sentient, he never had seen what these freaks were able to do to reach their aim.

"Listen Kurtrude, he can be very helpful for us. He has … the balls one needs for this mission. He knows how to execute an order and he already entered NASA." He hated this arrogant know it all voice

"Yeah, but he's going to fail." He reminded Chuck of this little, but important fact.

"Not this time. I sit down next to him and help him. That's what I should have done earlier I know, but better late than never. And to be honest in a shuttle nobody needs this entire math and physics stuff." This sentence blew his top. Chuck put all efforts into this guy who wasn't worth for it. Okay, that was not the nicest way of thinking about someone, but he already had gotten so much attention and…what about Neil? Who cared for him? This man just couldn't pretend as if his youngest never had existed, as if his son didn't mean anything to him, it just wasn't fair.

"Yes, but this math and physics stuff had been quite helpful for us, especially because one had a lot of knowledge about it." He began to bark.

"Okay, I see as usual we have complete different point of views, but this had been my decision and I go through with it, also without you." With these words Chuck went back and he stood there, outside, not knowing what was going on, not knowing how to survive this.

"Chuck damn it, you can't replace Neil with such a nutbar!" he called out. Chuck didn't care.

* * *

He had talked to Angela and both had come to the conclusion that they should tell them. At least that they should tell Chuck, who seemed to have forgotten the entire existence of his youngest. Maybe if they reminded him of that, he would rethink his decision concerning Marc. He couldn't believe that Chuck might have forgotten his youngest even put his golden boy into his position. He rang the doorbell. The door was opened by Marc.

"Hello Kurt Mendel?" He asked.

"Dr. Kurt Mendel." He added. He couldn't hide his antipathy towards this guy. He knew it wasn't his fault that his little brother left. 'Shit of cours is it his fault. He did nothing to show his father how wrong his behaviour was and he also did nothing to find his little brother. I'm sure he hadn't had the guts to defend Neil. I'm sure he never would have done, because he's much too afraid of the old commander.'

"Alright, sorry…it's still a bit strange for me, this whole odyssey thing."

"Yeah, it's a bit strange at the beginning as well as in the middle and at the end. May I talk to your Dad?" Thanks God he had found his politeness back.

"Sure, would you like to come in?"

"Yes, thank you."

He sat in the living room, waiting for Chuck to come. He heard noises from the kitchen. Paige Taggart was singing along a song resounding out the radio. 'What a fucked up family. Neil must have been the only one with heart.' He remembered how often he worried this mission might endangering his Mum or his brother. How often did he also worry about his Dad? How often did he worry about Sarah when she seemed to break down under the fight for her son or for Angela when her father once too often had taken actions against her will? How often had he looked at him asked what was wrong? This boy had been such damn warm hearted and nobody ever had given something back to him. He remembered when he once had told him that he should stop caring about what his parents said and did or rather not said and not did. He had tried to explain him that he should stop caring for his family. He remembered how this boy only answered a leopard cannot change its spots.

Chuck came and sat down in front of him. Marc remained with them.

"Marc, I hope you don't mind, but this is something between your father and me." He asked him politely to clear out.

"Oh, yeah sure, sorry." And then he was gone.

"I guess I know what this conversation is going to be about?" Chuck started.

"I only wanted to let you know that I've met Neil in Vancouver." He spit out. There was no need for beating around the bush.

"Well, that's news, but why do you tell me?" This reply said it all. Talking to Chuck about his youngest was nothing but wasted time. He got up.

"I just thought you wanted to know where he is, for the case you decide to look for him again." He was full of rage. This bloody indifference, he wasn't able to believe all this. He never had met such indifferent parents. Okay, Neil was twenty-three or even twenty-four now, but this was no reason to pretend as if he never had existed, this was no excuse for what they did to him, for the way they treated him.

"Kurt, he had made his decision and went off. He never had gotten in touch withus, so why shell we waste our precious time to do that?"

"Sorry, I really didn't know that you're such an indifferent asshole." He went off. Before he was able get into his car he was stopped by a gentle female voice.

* * *

"Dr. Mendel, pleas wait a second." He remained until Paige Taggart had reached him.

"Sorry that I listen to you, but you told my husband that you've met Neil?" She asked him in a shaky voice.

"Yes, but as I see in this household is nobody concerned about the youngest." He was fed up by this family. Nobody ever could make him believe that anyone of these people really cared. They were relieved that Neil never had come back that was for sure.

"That's not true! I DO miss my baby. I want him back so bad." She was close to cry, but he didn't trust these tears, tears for the fact that their holly family didn't exist, but no tears for their youngest. If they were, she already would have moved heaven and earth to find him, but she had done nothing.

"Oh yeah you do, I'm sure and thus you've decided to have a nice little vacation in Mexico."

"I didn't go to Mexico. I've been in Arizona, at my parents. I needed to think about all what has happened, to get Chuck persuaded that his attitude is wrong." He only shook his head. He wasn't in the mood for this. He wasn't in a mood for getting caught in a net of lies.

"Chuck…I don't wanna talk bad about him…but it's him. He says that it's no use to look for Neil, and that we should let him go." She started to explain.

"He's afraid. He's afraid that he gets lost in his son's shadow, how he as child got lost in his sister's shadow." She went on. Telling probably something she hadn't told anyone before. Something which lay heavily on her heart.

"But I need to see my baby again. I need to see him. And now after you've told me that he's in Canada, so far away, I'm dieing of worry. Please tell me where he is and please tell me that he's fine!" She began to beg. She really meant it. Every word she said, about being worried about her youngest. She had told him a big secret, he knew that. She covered up one of her worse family secrets. If he told her, this could be the first step for Neil to improve his relationship to his parents.

"I've met him in Vancouver. He was fine. I wasn't sad or anything." He began. There was no need to tell her the whole truth. That Neil must have had a bad accident.

"Oh my God. Where? Where in Vancouver lives he?" She now sounded so full of hope and he felt lousy because now he had to break down this hope.

"I don't know. I only saw him once. He even didn't want to talk to me." The last sentence was a lie, but he didn't have to make things worth as they already were.

"Dr. Mendel I know you think about me like a brute of a mother, but that's not true." Not? And how did she call what she had done over years to her son?

"Really, and thus you didn't even recognize that your son is a genius? And thus you didn't recognize that he was starving for a little love, comfort and support?" He can't hold back his anger about all this.

"I always felt that he was special but…this sounds weak but what could I have done…Chuck tried to ignore this fact, because of his fear. I so often tried to explain him that he didn't need to be afraid and that we needed to nurture this boy, but he didn't take it serious and … Neil just slipped away further and further and at the end I only was afraid he once might be on the fast way of destruction…at least he already was on this way…I only want him back, take him into my arms again. Please Dr. Mendell help me to find my baby." Was he able to do so? Could he refuse an obviously worried mother her wish to find her son?

"Please, you can do that. But I just can't. It would destroy my marriage and I can't lose both, my baby and my husband. I need them, both. Being in uncertainty about my son is killing me." He looked at her. She meant it. She was dieing, he saw it in her eyes, which looked empty; in her gesture, which showed that she was lost; in her whole appearance, which had lost all its brightness and agility.

"I …really want him back…" She got interrupted by her own sobs.

"Mrs. Taggart, Paige, I promise, I'll do what I can, but I can't promise that I'll can bring him back."

"Dr. Mendell don't worry about that. I only need to know where I can find him."


	8. Chapter 8

_**H**__is eyes opened again. His vision was clear. He was in a bright small room. There were some monitors and bags with strange liquids. He realized that the cables belonging to the monitors and the tubes from the liquid bags were fixed on his body. 'Shit! I'm in a hospital?' He began to panic. He started to move into a more comfortable position, but moving was difficult and his whole body hurt, like the worse muscle soreness he ever had. _

"_Hey, you're awake, that's good." A petite red haired woman said when she entered the room. He felt, as if he knew her, at least her voice, but wasn't able to remember where he had listened to it. _

"_Uhm…Ms.," His voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat. " can you tell me where I am and what has happened?" He went on, shy, his voice still hoarse. He felt uneasy and lost._

"_Don't worry about your voice this is gone within a few days." She went to the monitors looked at them and then noted something. Then she turned around him with her full attention._

"_You're in a hospital in Vancouver, Canada and you got involved in a bad car accident." 'Help! What! This…No!'_

"_Ouch." Was the only word, he was able to expose._

"_Yes, that's true. But you've made it, but there are still a few surgeries coming towards you." 'Wow, it always can get worse and I'm damn frightened about all this.'_

"_No reason to panic, but they're necessary to reduce the measure of long-term consequences."_

"_That bad?" 'Stupid question.' He was sure, he felt how bad it was, at least there was no limb without pain._

"_Do you wanna know?" She asked him critically. She must have seen in his expression that he wasn't fond of knowing all the misery._

"_Maybe later?"_

"_Alright. Is it okay with you, when I ask some questions? You don't have to answer all of them."_

"_Okay."_

"_Can you tell me your Name and date of birth?"_

"_Neil Taggart born on 23__rd__ of march 1985 in Houston, Texas." He added the last dates about his person, because he was sure that this question would follow._

"_Alright. Uhm…do you know what you've done, before the accident? Where you've been, to whom you've talked to?"_

_He had to think back, but his memory in somehow was blurred, but after some time it was nearly clear again._

"_I've been in a mall, I needed some cloths to change and then I've been in a small book shop."_

"_What did you buy?"_

"_Jeans, T-shirts and two books, one about Canada and I don't know what's the other one is about. For what do you need this?" He was confused. He was alone. His body began to hurt again awfully and he began to be tiered._

"_I need this to test if there are damages which we haven't detected now and to see how bad your amnesia is."_

"_Oh, okay."__ 'I really don't like this. I want to wake up from this night mare, now!'_

"_Do you know how the accident happened?" He shook his head, he had no idea how it had happened and he still was reluctant to believe that this all was more than a bad dream. _

"_What exactly is the last thing you know?"_

"_I paid my books and went out. It had rained. Nothing more."_

"_Okay, sounds as if your head as had some more luck than the rest of your body. Now one unpleasant question…if you can't answer it now it's okay, but I need to know it sometime, so…What about your relationship to your parents?" She asked very carefully._

'_Miss, how does my relationship look like? I'm alone in a hospital in Canada and nobody cares and don't start to tell my you haven't tried to call them. After some troubled years, I know something about hospital police in this case.' He felt a lump in his throat. The truth again started to hurt, but there had nothing else to be expected. When he had gone out this door, he had known that this had been the final cut._

"_Not the best." He didn't want to explain to her all this shit about being the scum and all that. _

" _You don't like to talk about that. But the unfortunate fact is that you're here in a Canadian hospital and your parents don't seem to bother and now I need to know what to do with you. Do you have any relatives we could inform, someone who would care?" He shook his head. There was none. He began to feel awful and this feeling wasn't related to the injuries due the accident._

"_Friends? Anyone who would care?" She kept on, very carefully. Again he shook his head. There was nobody who would care. His friends from school? Not really or? He had wanted to talk to Holly about his fight with his family, but she didn't want to listen to that crap. Nice friends nobody cares if you're in serious trouble. 'But there must be someone. It can't be true that I'm really alone. I know that there was someone who would care, but who?' He began to think desperately, but he came to the conclusion that there really was nobody._

"_In this case I have to inform the youth welfare office. You're still underage and you have no graduation or anything." 'Shit!'_

"_Uhm…can't you skip this? I mean in a few months I'm eighteen."_

"_Sorry honey, but in Canada you have to be nineteen to bee of age. I can't skip this, but I have an idea what to do, afterwards. Only if you want to of course. I know a school which could fit your interests. It's a boarding school. If you can get a foot in there, you don't have to worry about anything. You could be free to live here, how you're pleased but you weren't alone and you won't have trouble with the youth welfare office." He looked questioning at her. This sounded in somehow mysterious and strange. But not being alone, was a good reason to try or? He had been alone for seventeen years and he didn't want this circumstance to last any longer then necessary._

"_Where's the catch?" He never did trust any peace._

"_First of all you need to regain some strength and then you'll have to do some tests. Nothing physical, only brain work." She looked into his eyes, and fondled his arm._

"_I dunno…" He began to yawn. He wasn't sure if all this was the right thing to do. Maybe he should go back. He didn't feel strong enough for this final cut, in somehow._

"_You're tiered. That's okay. Sleep is the best way to come on tracks again." Carefully not to disturb all these tubes and cables she tucked him in and gently stroked through his hair._

"_Dr. Peterson will come later and explain you everything."_

"_Miss, your name?" He asked. He was that bad tiered that he had to struggle, keeping his eyes open._

"_Dr. Fiona Morgan. And now rest." He closed his eyes and drifted away, he felt once again how someone stroked through his hair.

* * *

_

'_They really don't care. What if I had died? Would they have given a party like: let's celebrate the end of the evil? They can't do that. Oh, yes forgotten they can. Okay, I know I not innocent in this and I should have braced myself and I know I went too far, more than often. But hell, they don't care now. That's not fair. I've been on mended ways and they know that. My results had been best of the class last term and…nobody cared. What…'_

"_Hey, how do you feel?" Dr. Morgan came in and asked._

"_I had better days, but thank you."_

"_Only side effects from the anaesthesia. But this surgery had been the last one for the next few months. We have to wait until all swellings have decayed. And then we'll see how to go on." He nodded. He had realized that his parents really didn't give a damn shit about him. This fact hurt. It hurt badly and he began to feel empty and lonely. He had no idea what caused this feeling. He had known before that he didn't mean anything to his parents, but this…it was not only a feeling, it was a fact._

"_Hey, what's wrong with you?" She sat down on the side of the bed. 'Damn it, why can't she leave me alone and let me get drowned in self-pity?'_

"_It's __because of your parents?" He didn't answer, but looked away. He felt how he was close to cry._

"_Don't think about that. I know this is sad and that you must feel lonely and hurt, but if__ you decide for the McQueans Institution…I mean you won't forget what they've done to you, but it might be easier to cope with it." _

"_But…I don't want to…I can deal with it on my own…somehow."_

"_I don't think so. Neil, listen, you've had a very bad accident and the fact that you've survived it borders the miraculous, but you're going to need someone who helps you to deal with the long-term effects and this is not going to be easy. And you need someone who helps you what has happened to you or what has not happened." He didn't know what to answer there was nothing to be answered._

"_You're such a gifted boy and you're so full of heart. I would never forgive me, if this would get lost only because…nobody cared."_

"_Are you now a kind of social worker?" He hated it when someone touched his feelings, when someone was close to make him cry._

"_No, I'm worried." She still spoke in this quite and calm voice._

"_Damn it! Nobody ever worried about me, so stop this! If I'm dead or alive nobody cares. Don't pretend as of you do." He began to tremble. He was full of rage and sadness._

"_Neil, don't…" He didn't want to listen to any more words. He wanted to get out of there. He wanted all this to end. His body was sore and he still felt like crap._

"_I don't wanna go to this department, I … don't wanna be in Canada and…and … I don't… don't wanna stay any longer in this damn hospital." He felt how tears ran down his cheeks. He was so tired and he felt so bad. He never had felt worse. Not only physical, but also emotional. Yes, he really whished he hadn't survived this accident. It would have been so much easier for him. She took him into her arms. Stroking through his hair_

"_I know. This is all way too much, but believe me, if you go to the McQueans Institution you'll feel much better." _


	9. Chapter 9

**N**ow they were on their way to Vancouver. After he had done some internet research – he hated this kind of research, he had been glad when Neil had occupied about this- he had found a life sign from his friend. Okay, this research had lasted several months, but now it seemed as if he had succeeded.

They reached a huge building, red bricks, and huge gate. He understood why Neil had gone there. It suited his skills and it was far away from the trouble at home. After he has had the conversation with Paige Taggart, she had kept in touch with him, called him once in a while if he had already found something. Every time he had told her that there was nothing, she had started to cry. She had lost more and more of her brightness and she had begun to look like walking death. Chuck ignored this fact and even Marc showed some concern about his little brother. Marc even had asked if he should come with them. First he had thought that a bit family could help to persuade, but at the end he had decided against it. Maybe Neil would feel driven into a corner or maybe his feelings towards his family would force him to something he would regret later. He had promised to take the part of a mediator. He was sure that he could reach something. He always has had the feeling as if knew more about Neil than his own parents. They enter the building they had an appointment with the headmaster. It was bright and made a friendly impression. While they went through the hallway, met a lot of this institution's students: children, teenager and young adults, eager to learn and to develop their already extraordinary skills.

"Hey Neil, is it true that you rattle off the periodic table in front of Prof. Charles?" Immediately he and Angela looked around. And there he was. Big smile on his face, carrying a bag on his shoulder, the splint was still there, but he had gotten rid of his crutches.

"Dude, where did you get that from?"

"Well, dude, I have my connections." Angela was on her way in their direction. Kurt had to hold her back.

"Kook." 'Why in hell is he so damn happy? His life had been hell, he had lost his family and friends and now he's laughing and smiling as if nothing has happened.'

"Have you've done the homework about protein biosynthesis? I have a question about this Operon shit."

"Lunch break?"

"Cool."

They reached the room. He knocked at the door.

"Come in." Someone called from the inside. They entered the room. They met a good looking, grey haired man, dressed in a suit, wearing glasses.

"Dr. Mendel and Angela Perry, I'm glad to meet you."

"Thanks for your time. You know why we're here?"

"You're interested in one of my students, Neil Taggart."

"He's the son of a friend of us and I'm…we're really concerned about him and his well being."

"Yes, I expected one of you to come." 'What? He expected us? How?'

"What do you mean?" Angela took part. He still was confused. Did Neil remember him?

"He's a part of your team, he's part of the mission, a not unimportant one." Dr. McQueans went on.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt spit out. He felt as he had felt that day, this strange man came into the book shop and talked about their mission.

"About your attempt to safe the earth from her early end."

"How do you know about…" Angela asked him confused.

"Uh…don't worry I know a lot about it, but I have no answer." Kurt calmed down. There had been so many unexpected things. In somehow he was used to it.

"Can we talk to him?" Angela asked.

"Practically you can, but he won't know who you are."

"What?" Kurt and Angela called out.

"Okay, I guess I need to explain something." Dr. McQueans was calm. He spoke slowly and intently.

"Yes, I think that would be quite helpful!" He was in rage. If he had known that they would come, to search for Neil, he had been able to contact them earlier. Angela petted his arm to calm him down again. He was close to freak out.

"He's in mortal danger. We had to take measures to save him. Without him, you'll never reach your aim."

"What? Can you repeat this?" Angela, asked. Now she was confused as well, he heard it in her voice.

"Or better explain it?" Kurt corrected her. He felt as if he was in a wrong movie.

"Okay. The car accident he was involved in, hadn't been an accident. The Cadre had tried to kill him. Fortunately they didn't succeed. And then we had no choice. We took his memory, at least everything what was related to your time travel. In his memory now, he never had been twenty-two, he never had been in a space shuttle and he never had seen a sentient or anything like that. He only knows what had happened the last eighteen years ago."

"And why did you do so?"

"Otherwise he would have come back to you, because of his conscientiousness and that would kill him. He needs to stay far away from his family and from you."

"But we could look after him, we…"

"No. I believe you, when you say that you would look after him and of course you would do everything, but this is how it is supposed to be. He had to vanish to make the macrocosm stays in balance and thus in this universe he has to stay away from his family and you."

"What is all this about macrocosms and universe. Sorry Dr. McQueans, but I guess there is a lot more you need to explain to us if you want us to understand all this." Kurt now was quite interested in what the man had said. It seemed as if there was more behind their time travel than they had thought.

"You didn't travel back in time, like the Seeker had told you. This is impossible due to the connection of space and time. But you travelled into another universe. One in which the destiny of earth wasn't determined, in which you could have a chance to prevent this from happening."

"But isn't this time travel?" She asked.

"Not exactly, because this universe hasn't reached the year two thousand-seven, yet. Time travel is impossible or it is impossible to change the past. The connection from space and time forbids it. You only can influent what's in the future, in somehow. But the earth of your native universe got destroyed; it never will have a future again. What isn't existent can't have a future, but a past." He understood what Dr. McQueans wanted to tell them. The past was determined and only changeable when it was the future and the past from their last earth is the future from this one. 'I never had thought that physics might be as complex.'

"What then has happened?" Kurt went on.

"Your minds got compromised, into a size the Seeker was able to, to send it through the quantal foam into another universe, which existence began five years later than the one of your native universe."

"Quantal foam?" Sure, Angela never had been interested into physics. No wonder that she understood less than he did.

"Quantal foam is part of a subatomic dimension. It fills the space between all universes, where neither space nor time is existent or at least not in a way we know it. The information of all your minds travelled through this kind of foam into the area of the universes which lay five years beyond your. Unfortunately the Seeker hadn't chosen carefully enough, thus Neil needs to be separated from you." He finished is explanation. But there were still a lot of questions. He looked at Angela and with her glance she told him that she hadn't understood a word and that it now was his turn to ask the right questions.

"How many universes do exist?" He asked.

"Uh…this is a good question. According to my studies, approximately ad infinitum."

"And the difference between all these universes lays in the point of time of they started to exist?" Kurt went on.

"No. first of all, time is no unit which really exists in the space a universe got born into. The second: there are more things they differ from each other. Didn't you notice any changes in respect to your native universe?"

"No."

"No, I don't think so." Angela added.

"Are you sure? Let me ask you -I hope this doesn't sound indiscreetly- but what about the relationship between you? Isn't there any difference? Or Mrs. Forbes isn't there a difference? Or even Neil's family, what about them?" Kurt began to dislike this question-game. He wanted answers, now.

"No and could you pleas tell us, what all this is supposed to mean?" The man in front of him sighed and lend back in his chair. Turning around, watching out the window, where students took their break.

"All these students are unique and nobody of us can predict what their future will be like. Only universe can and will, because it is balanced ruled." He turned around again and got up and began to walk through his study.

"Every universe consists of a number of macrocosms and every macrocosm consists of a number of microcosms. The size of a macrocosm is determined by its number of microcosms. A macrocosm for example can exist of 8.2 million microcosms it is called Germany. And this huge macrocosm again is split into smaller macrocosms and so on. Every single life-form has to be seen as a microcosm and in connection to other microcosm it becomes part of a macrocosm. Every one of you is a microcosm himself and you belong to a macrocosm. But the number of macrocosms itself is determined. Let me take you two for an example. Seen you separated you're microcosms but together as a couple you're build a macrocosm of two. But because the number of macrocosms of two is already determined, what means another macrocosm of two which existed in your universe in this one remains separated."

"You mean, because we're a couple, tow others…singles can't be?" Angela concluded. Dr. McQueans nodded.

"That's right. Mrs. Forbes for example builds together with her son a macrocosm of two." 'Okay, I've understood it.'

"And what has all this to do with Neil?" He had to fight against is impatience.

"His family is only supposed to be a macrocosm of three. If he would have staid with them or in their near, he soon would have died. The universe's balance would be out of kilter. You have to think of all this as seesaw. If one side gets too heavy the whole get banked and the one on the exterior drops down and everything is well balanced again."

"But why Neil? Why not anyone else?" Kurt was frustrated. He didn't want to believe that there was no hope for his friend.

"Because this universe is the positive converse of your native. You only have to compare and you'll understand it." 'Let's try: the first time around Angela and I haven't found each other and now we're as happy as we never had been before. Sarah had lost Corey, but now he's healthy and …' This thought wasn't allowed to be thought. He flew into rage.

"Does it mean, only because their eldest still is home, he has to be somewhere in Canada? What a fucking game is this?" He began to scream.

"Kurt calm down." Angela petted his arm again.

"Unfortunately this is no game."

"And what about his mother? Will she at least be able to visit him?" Angela asked.

"No. Every contact to his family or to you would endanger his life, because he would grow again into a macrocosm."

"But what has it to do with us? We need him. How can we reach our aim, without him?"

"Because with you, he would inevitably get in contact with his family. His father is part of your team as well. And he isn't lost for your work. You know how to contact me, and I always know where to find him."

Kurt sighed. 'I can't believe this. This man is telling me that I have lost my best friend? No, this can't be true.'

"Don't worry, one time maybe he will come back to you. The universe is always on the move. That's why macrocosm of two soon can be macrocosms of three and grow even further or even decline. But now it's the best for him. His father agreed with…"

"CHUCK!?" Kurt shot. 'No, this is only a nightmare. Chuck knew about it and hadn't told us? Comes to us with his golden boy of a son as replacement without telling us a word? Who in bloody hell does think he is?'

"Yes? He knew about all. When Neil had been admitted to hospital after the accident, they've called his parents. Hospital policy. My wife has had shift that night, thus he had treated Neil. She told me that his father was Chuck Taggart and we both knew that it was time."

"How do you know all this?" Angela asked.

"My wife and I can know how the universe moves."

"Will we able to stop the sentients and the Cadre?" She asked on.

"No, this isn't written in the universes movement. This threat comes from the outside, is no part of the universe. But after all what has happened I guess you're close. The only advise I can give you is that you have to avoid a friend but remain close to him."


	10. Chapter 10

'**I**'ve lost my baby. I'll never get him back. I'll never again take him into my arms, what I should have done more often. I'll never again ask him how his day was, what I should have done more often. I'll never again look what he's doing, before I go to bed, what I've done every night. I'll never again sit down and talk with him, what I've done so little. I'll never be able to tell him that I love him and that he's my baby. I'll never be able to tell him how sorry I am that things went so badly wrong. I'll never have the chance to tell him that this hasn't been his entire fault. I'll never be able to explain him the reasons for all this things.

What a mother forces her son out of the house? And now I'm sitting here, with the man who had known so much, but didn't tell my anything. He had known it all. My baby had suffered form huge pain, he nearly died and he knew it all and didn't tell me anything. He's the reason why my baby was alone. I should have let Dr. Mendel beat this man fit for hospital. But he's my husband and I love him. I really do. We went through so much together. But I can't forgive him this. My little baby. What must he think now? What must he feel? He must have the feeling as if he doesn't many anything to us, to me. But I guess he already felt like that. But that's not true. We've neglected him, too much. I've neglected him too much. I let him alone with his skills he obvious wasn't able to cope with. But I didn't care. We didn't care. Things got out of hand and instead of helping we only have screamed at him, punished him, although it had been our entire fault. If we only had cared. But this is easy to be said now. Now where I have no chance to improve anything. Now where I have no chance to say that I'm really sorry and that I love him. I really do. He had been twenty-two. Why did Chuck didn't behave like that? Why did he still treat him like the seventeen year old he had once been? What is he so afraid of that he has to behave like is own father once had? I have no answer. I only know that I want my baby back and that I feel miserable for all I've done to him.'


	11. Chapter 11

**T**here again. This man. He had the feeling as if he knew him. Not only because of the incident this one night. But in somehow he was used to the fact that his life had become strange. Sometimes he felt as if someone was following him. Yesterday he had met a man, probably he came from India, at least he had looked like that and his name sounded strange. Shandra? He never had heard this name before. He had tried to explain this to the man, but he had been too busy with telling him something about the instability of this universes and that sentients – whatever this is or are- are to blame for it. He went on with something about the apocalypse. He really had frightened him, if he would believe in religion and bible and all this stuff. He really has had trouble to get rid of this man who was telling him that it now was his turn, after his father had settled with the Cadre. And so on and so on. On the other hand what the man had told him was crazy, of course, but it sounded familiar to him. 'Maybe I've read a book with such a story.' This was the only explanation he had left. Sam had started to act strange around him as well. She wanted him to meet some friends. He had explained her that he had not enough time for something like that. After that she had flown into fury, screaming at him. In somehow he wasn't sure if this were the first signs for going mad of if life sometime had to be strange.

"Hey Neil, Dr. McQueans wants to talk to you." Jake, a crazy dude, dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Why?"

"He didn't tell me. I hope nothing serious."

"Okay, then I'll better go. Do we see us later?"

"Sure."

He went to Dr. McQueans. He had been quite dumbfounded when he had found out that Fiona was his wife. He had been confused, because she bore her maiden name. He had told him that things were easier this way. Her husband was quite a famous man. When she bore his name she was bothered with questions like: why does the wife of such a rich man have to do such a hard job. Unfortunately most people weren't able to understand that one liked to do a job. He liked her, although she sometimes started to be much of a caring person. He wasn't used to questions like: how are you or how was your day? He had explained it to her and she had told him that she understood, but she still hadn't been able to switch this automatism off, yet. He reached the door and knocked.

"Come in." He followed this advice and entered the room.

"Dr. McQueans, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes, yes. Please, take a seat." He offered him and then at down in front of him. This man had the charisma one could be afraid of.

"I guess you already realized that things went strange lately. You remember the man you told me about, who had told you something about the end of world." 'Okay, this sounds really serious'. He only nodded.

"I want you to stay away from strangers. I know this sounds weird to you, but this is very important."

"But why? I mean, what's going on here?" Now he was sure that there were things going on, he had no clue about what they were. In somehow he felt as if he was involved in some strange thing and he felt as if he should know what it was, but only wasn't able to remember.

"You feel confused and I can understand it and I promise that you'll soon know what's going on, but in the moment your safety is the only thing important now. That's why you're here." It was like a movie and he was the spectator. Everybody seemed to know what was wrong only he had to wait until the end. Why anyone didn't tell him the truth at the beginning and what was the truth?

"One moment. You're talking about my safety. I only thought this here was a school…university and I'm here because of my skills, but now you're telling me I'm in danger. Can anyone clarify me about all this?"

"You're right. This here is an Institution for gifted youngster like you are. Your skills are the reason why you're here and your skills are the reason why you're in danger." 'My…what? What's…' He wasn't able to form a clear thought.

"I…I don't understand this. I…there are others." His lingual ability had stopped.

"The problem is easy explained. You're skills are unique. After one year here, you've made an immense advance. You're skills have reached a level even adult scientist are far away from. That's why you're in danger." 'My…hell. What a freak show. And I thought my life had turned into a more positive direction and now? Why has my life always to turn into crap?'

"Neil we need you and thus we have to take care that nothing happens to you. Soon you're going to understand what I mean. I guess inwardly you know all, but in the moment you're mind is a bit blockaded."

"Yeah, wow." He had no clue what to say or to feel now.

"Don't think about it too much." This sounded like a good plan, because the more he thought about it, the more he felt he was going nuts.

* * *

It was a sunny day. Thus he and Jake sat outside talking about their last lecture. He hadn't told him, what Dr. McQueans had told him. He had asked, but when he had answered that he doesn't want to talk about it he had stopped asking.

"Neil?" He heard a female voice. He knew it. He knew it too well. He turned around and there she stood. Black, curly hair, dressed in warm and bright colours. He had no idea what to feel now or what to do. He didn't want to feel happy, because she hadn't been there, when he needed her most. He couldn't feel hate, because she was his mother and he loved her.

"Who's that?" Jake asked.

"My Mom." He answered.

"Uh…I'd better go. If you need help or something, you know where you'll find me." And then he left. He remained sitting on the bench. She came closer and closer. She sat down next to him, as if nothing had happened. All started from new. Again he met with a lie as his whole life had been one.

"Hey, honey how are you." She asked him. Putting her warm hand onto his knee. He pulled his leg away. He didn't want her to touch him.

"You look thin." She went on. 'Hallo? I have a few months hospital lying behind me. What do you think one looks like afterwards?' Didn't she recognize that she was the last person he wanted to talk to?

"I can imagine that you feel disappointed and hurt, but this was…I had no chance. If I had known…" This was the last straw. Now she would begin to apologize and at the end he would be the one who had to carry the can for what had happened, but he wouldn't allow her to do so. Not again. This had happened much too often. It had to end.

"Stop that shit Mom. If you had known or not, it wouldn't have made any difference." He cut in her sentence. He wasn't in the mood for some of these lame excuses.

"Neil, that's not true."

"C'mon. You always treated me like shit, so be pleased that you got rid of the trouble I'm only causing. Now you can invite all your nice friends without worrying that I would destroy your little party." He got up. He had forgotten that his knee still wasn't healed yet, thus he had moved too fast and striking pain moved through his leg. 'Shit'.

"Neil that's not true. I love you, I really do." She sounded despaired. How often had he sounded that way and nobody had cared, they had gone on with their screaming and punishment. Implacability was the only thing he had learned from his parents and now it was time to show them how hurtful it is. Now she told him that she loved him and five minutes she would give him shit for nothing.

"No, you don't. These are only words which ought the clean your conscience. That's all!" He screamed at her. He wouldn't let her got through with her never ending lies.

"No Neil. I know how hard we've been, how hard I've been towards you, but I love you. You're my little baby." 'Of course I am that's why you always trashed me, told me that I'm nothing but trouble. Keep your words for you I don't want to hear them.' He would have been glad if he had been able to speak those words. But he wasn't. He was weak and she knew it and she would make use of it. He wouldn't allow her to do so.

"Stop this, okay! You only hurt me and you know that, but you never cared and now you wanna tell me that you love me? Sorry, but this is a little unbelievable."

"Neil!" She said, but he had turned his back towards her. He didn't want to see or hear her. Again he felt so hurt. Again he felt all this pain she had caused. Again he felt like scum.


	12. Chapter 12

**S**he sat in a bright little room. Dr. Fiona Morgan had wanted to talk to her, after she had gotten to know that she was Neil's mother. Dr. Morgan was preparing some tea and she waited. After what Neil had said to her, she had started to cry. It wasn't because of what he had said. It was, because he was right in somehow. They really hadn't shown him that they love him, but what should she do? How could she show him that this had been a mistake she regretted badly? He had the feeling as of she had lost her son for ever. It was as if one part of her heart felt empty, lonely. Dr. Morgan came back and gave her a cup of tea.

"Don't take it to your heart. He's a bit confused. That's a normal reaction." Dr. Morgan tried to comfort her.

"That's easier said than done." She sighed. How could she explain the past to her son?

"You have to understand that you haven't met the adult Neil, but the teenager who has no idea what has happened."

"That's true, but nevertheless it hurts and I don't want to know what he would accuse me for, if he knew that he's in real twenty-four now." She took a sip of tea. She had talked to Chuck about their relationship they had to Neil, when he had stopped to be a rebellious teenager. She had been shocked, when she had to find out that nothing had changed then. Nothing. They still had ignored him, especially after he had moved into an own apartment at the age of eighteen. She wasn't able to believe that she hadn't shown her pride towards him, after he had graduated from high school, after getting his diploma, after entering NASA, after he had been assured his first mission. How could she have been indifferent about something like that? She would have been, if it had been Marc. What had been different with Neil? What had gone wrong that there was such a huge gap between them?

"Why do you care so much for my son?" She asked on. Her thoughts went in circles and she needed answers and solution and no memories about what had happened.

"It was my shift, when he was admitted to the hospital. He was so young and so bad injured. I got reminded of my own son. And then this story here. I just wasn't able to see him suffering and then I just took him to my heart."

"His eyes." She only answered. His eyes were what make someone love him. No matter how cold hearted he began to behave, if one looked into his eyes one could see that he didn't mean being cold. These brown eyes told the whole truth of his inside, thus she knew in how much pain he had been, when he had cussed all these words at her. She had seen that he suffered under his confusing feelings, not knowing what was right, what not.

"What?"

"His eyes are the mirror of his soul. There is nothing he could hide. When he told me that he doesn't believe that I love him, I could see all his confusion in his eyes. He had no idea whether he should hate me or not." She took another sip of tea.

"You have a son?" She asked Dr. Morgan. It was a good feeling to talk to someone who knew what it was like to be a mother.

"Yes. My husband I." She answered.

"Dr. McQueans, I guess is your husband?"

"Yes. I kept my name. It's easier in my job, if not everybody knows who's my husband." She understood this much too well. She sometimes wished that she would bear another name. It was hard to be the woman in the shadow of an important and famous man. But she had found her way to deal with it. This was the recipe how to keep a marriage like that upright.

"Does your son go here to school?" She went on. Maybe this woman could help her with the relationship to her son. She had won a little hope back. Maybe she hadn't lost him. Maybe she only needed to win him back again. She only needed someone who showed her the right direction.

"No. He died a few years ago. He was fifteen." 'Oh my God. Oh no. And I?' She felt miserable. She was crying, because her son didn't want to see her and this woman in front of her really had lost her son.

"I'm so sorry. I…mean I honestly feel silly. Sitting here and crying about my son who ignores me, with a lot reason and you.…"

"Oh, no. Don't feel silly. You are a mother and you have all right to be concerned about your son. This shows that he really means something to you."

"But it's hard. I mean now where he's not at home … I miss these noises and…his quirks which normally drove me crazy." She always had been in rage, when Neil had spread his stuff in the whole house and his room. No matter when she had entered it, it had been a mess. She had tidied it, after he had left. A few days later she had wished that he had been there to create his usual chaos. Ordered his room was lifeless. She liked the ordered atmosphere a lot. In her study, in her bathroom, in her bedroom, kitchen, everywhere, even in Marc's room it was a warm atmosphere, when everything was in order, but Neil's room it didn't match. It felt cold in there.

"I can imagine. After Jason had died I began to miss his chaos he always left in the bathroom."

"After Neil had left I started to miss the noises coming from his room in the night, while I'm lying in bed. Without them it's hard to fall asleep." Another thing that had been missing. She had wished that he youngest would get some more sleep. But it was obvious that he didn't need more. She would have died with only five or four hours sleep a night, but Neil didn't bother. Dr. Morgan gave her a warm smile and nodded.

"May I ask why your son died so early?" She asked. In somehow she wasn't able to imagine that this was possible. She would die herself if her son would leave earth before she would do so. She wasn't able to believe that a mother could life with this in the back of her head.

"Because it was his time, in somehow. He died in a car accident. They had no chance to save him. Thus when I started to treat your son, I wasn't able to let him die. I had to do everything to keep him under the living and thus I did everything I could have done."

"And I'm endless grateful for this. I can't imagine what I would have done, when I'd lost him for ever."

"You need to give him some time, until he had digested everything."

"But this doesn't change the fact that we treated him so bad. I have no idea why we did so. We love him, we really do, but in somehow we didn't know how to treat him right, I mean…"

"Sometimes it's hard to be a parent of such a gifted child. We had problems with Jason as well. We didn't know that he was that gifted. His grades in school had been more than bad and he didn't behave like a gifted child. He wasn't quiet and eager to learn. He was wild and he was rude. A teacher later told us that he might be underchallenged and that his behaviour only was another measure for him to get rid of all his energy."

"Fits to my boy." Why hadn't any of his teachers seen these signs?

"How was your husband able to hide the truth from you for so long?"

"He wasn't. I always felt that there was something wrong, but I didn't ask him. I knew that he one time would start to tell me anyway and he did so. My husband cried when he told me about what had happened. It was the first time he cried because of our youngest. It was the first time he showed me that he loves him too. And then things had become so clear. Why he had been so rude towards me and why he was so nervous, why he wasn't able to sleep. Thus it was my fault that he didn't talk to me earlier." Seeing Chuck drenched in tears had made her frighten. She never had seen him that way. He always had been cold and rational, but that had been far away from this usual behaviour.

"You both love your son. I believe you."


	13. Chapter 13

**H**e sat in his loft, working on some computer codes but without Neil it was very complicated. He and Angela had stopped to meet with the others in the dinner. He couldn't bear the presence of this brown-noser. But they still worked on their mission. They couldn't blame six billion people for Chuck being an asshole.

"Hey." Angela was coming out of the bathroom, only wrapped into a towel, still wet. She kissed him onto the neck and began to nosh his ear.

"Oh…darling, you're distracting me from my work."

"Then you should forget about it for a while." She whispered in his ear. She went to the bed, starting to take of the towel from her body. He loved this smooth, ivory shiny skin. He got up. He started to kiss her. They sunk down the bed, when someone started to slam the door like hell.

"Damn it!" He began to swear.

"Who ever it is, he can wait." She pulled him back onto the bed, kissing him intensely.

"Dr. Mendel! I know that you're there!" They heard a voice with a strong Hindi accent.

"Naran Shandra?" Angela asked him. She looked confused at him, got up, wrapped the towel around her waist and went to the bathroom.

"I don't know." 'In hell's name let this be very important or O kill this son of a bitch who's disturbing our love.' He got up and opened the door. Naran Shandra stood in front of him. Panic stood in his eyes. It really looked important.

"Doctor we have to hurry. They started with their plan."

"Who? What plan?" He asked.

"The sntients." Shandra went to the laptop on the table and began to hammer on the keys. Then he turned it around and what he saw was a screen full of numbers which started to decay.

"What is this supposed to mean?" Angela asked. She had pulled some cloths on.

"This universe starts to decay. We need your friend. He is the only one who is able to converse this computer codes. The epicentre is somewhere in Vancouver. First we get your friend and then we should go there."

"He's in Vancouver. Can you make out the concrete dates?" Kurt asked.

"Then we shouldn't lose any time." Angela answered.

He only hoped that Neil was able to help him, even without memory. They called Chuck and told him that they now where in their way to Vancouver. He wanted to come with them. On their way they called Dr. McQueans. He had assured them that he would inform Neil and that he would be able to help them.


	14. Chapter 14

_**I**__t had been around six in the evening, when his cell phone rang. He felt disturbed in his quitting time peace. Nevertheless he had answered the phone and was quite pissed by the voice on the other side of the line. A voice he hadn't heard a word from since days._

"_Hey…uh…sorry that I call you…but…I've a little problem." The voice had begun to stammer. Of course. Great words, followed by greater actions but now he sat in a mess and needed daddy, but not this time. This boy was old enough._

"_Yes and now you should see how to deal with it." He had answered._

"_Dad some of our friends are following me since days and I…don't get rid of them." His son had sounded nervous, but he hadn't cared. His son had gotten himself into this mess. He could have staid and everything would be alright now._

"_And where are you now?"_

"_Uh…somewhere in Canada…Vancouver I guess." 'What? What the hell had led him to that? Did he now go crazy or what?'_

"_What in hell's name are you doing in Vancouver?"_

"_Actually…well…I don't know. I just tried to get rid of those black pickup trucks." This sounded really serious. But now he was in Vancouver and that made things a little more complicated. He sat in Texas, how should he be able to help his son somewhere in Vancouver?_

"_I would recommend that you come back." He had barked, a bit. He didn't want to be mean, but in somehow he had no control of his voice and he had no plan either, how to help his son. But he couldn't let him know that._

"_The last time I had been in Texas, me and my bike nearly had a rendezvous with the roadside ditch and the other time I was close to kiss a lamppost. I don't think that returning to Texas would increase my lifespan." 'Okay, this really doesn't sound that good. But what in hell shell I do about it? He's in Vancouver, how can I help him there anyway? And he is old enough. He should be able to deal with this situation. He had been in worse ones.'_

"_Son, sorry that I have to say this, but you've decided for an AWOL. I didn't force you to." His way to hide that he had to clue what his son could do. He always bean to be rude, when he realized that he had reached a limit. He hated the feeling of helplessness. He was a NASA commander. He wasn't allowed to be helpless, he wasn't allowed to be without paln._

"_Okay, I would consider that as a matter of interpretation. But thanks. The next time I'm going to save your ass, remind me of the fact that everyone is only responsible for his own shit in our family." Now his son sounded pissed. That wasn't his problem. He had navigated himself into this mess. He wasn't the one to carry the can for it. His son should start to take the responsibility of his life and actions into his own hands and he should stop blaming others for his misery._

"_Neil…"_

"_Yeah, yhea I know, when I'm going to survive this you wanna hear a nice sorry, but this is not going to happen, even not, when I'll survive." This broke the camel's back. Who in hell's name did his son though who he was? He was nothing more than a striking pain up his ass and he behaved like a stubborn five year old kid._

"_Neil, damn…" 'it'. His son had broken up the call. What should he think now? Maybe things weren't as bad as he had described them. He was sure that in a few days Neil would come back again._

_---_

_Later that night he had received the call from a hospital in Vancouver. This time Neil hasn't had any luck. He had been hit by a car. They hadn't been sure if he would survive this. He wanted to take Paige and head off to Vancouver. But he couldn't. He had met Dr. McQueans at NASA. He had explained him what this time travel had been in real and he had explained him that Neil wasn't safe. He hadn't believed him. He wasn't able to believe that Neil should be the key. His son only was the one good for some research, nothing more. Okay, he was brainy, but that wasn't very significant. He had underestimated his son. Now he had gotten the proof that his son really was more than just a researcher. Again he hadn't seen what potential his son bore on his shoulders. Again he had failed. What if he had believed in what Dr. McQueans had said? Would he have been able to save his son? His youngest? This skinny boy? Would he have been able to prevent this? He had rated on his son. He had let him down, left him alone. He had let his little boy alone. And what was the result? This tiny, skinny boy now lay in a hospital somewhere at the end of the world, fighting for his life and he couldn't be there for him. But his son needed him. He couldn't do this on his own. He needed someone who helped him through this, someone who told him that he had to keep on fighting, that he had to hold on and not to give up. But he was alone. There was nobody there for him. He was all alone, on his own. He had been in shock. He had trouble to remain calm, trouble to stay, trouble not to get into the next airplane to Vancouver. His thoughts only swirled around his son and around the words from Dr. McQueans, telling him that there was no other way than keeping his son away from them. As more as he would get involved into their mission, the more would he be in danger. This had been the proof. They wanted him to be dead and the only way to save him was this institution and to hold him there they would have to take his memory. He immediately had understood why. His son would have come back. His son wouldn't have let them down, no matter how dangerous things were. It had been the most awful decision he has had to make, but he had to agree if he wanted his son to be safe. He was full of panic and fear. Dr. McQueans wife had assured him that she wouldn't allow his son to die, but he knew much too well that this skinny boy had his own head and when he decided nobody would be able to hold him back. He was more like his mother than one wished he was. He only wished that his son also was such a strong fighter and wouldn't give up. He had been close to head off to Vancouver. He wasn't sure if Neil was able to fight this in his own, without anyone on his side._

"_What's wrong with you?" Paige had entered the study. He looked up at her._

"_Nothing." 'Our son has had a bad accident. He probably won't survive this and if he does, he will wake up and nobody of us will be there. He will wake up and a part of his memory would be vanished and he won't understand what's going on', he answered her inwardly. He couldn't tell her. She would freak out and this was the last thing he needed now. Now he had to think of his son's safety, this was on first place. Paige wouldn't be able to stay here, while one of her children was in mortal danger. He was sure, if he once would tell her, that she would kill him for that. This even could be a reason for her to leave him. Although she never had shown it too much, he knew how much she loved her little son. Every harsh word she had spoken to him, every punishment had hurt her, because she was aware of the fact that she had no clue how to deal with her youngest. This only had been a sign of overtaxing. But she really loved him as he did, but they were so afraid that he might lose his track and then went on a track of fast destruction. _

"_It doesn't look like nothing. Who had called you?" She dug deeper. _

"_Just someone from the centre. Nothing important." 'It was the hospital in Vancouver. They told me that our son might die within the next hours.'_

"_You're hiding something from me?" She was right. Of course she recognized that something wasn't right. He only shook his head. He didn't want to lie more than necessary. He already was frightened enough. Frightened of his little boy, of what was going to happen, if he really wouldn't make it, afraid of how he should tell Paige about all this one time and afraid of what was going to happen, if his son would make it._

_"No, no, don't worry, it's really nothing." He had assured her. She hadn't lost this critical look in her eyes. She knew that he was hiding something, but she didn't dug deeper. She knew how to handle the stubbornness of a Taggart, she knew that keeping on would lead to nothing. _


	15. Chapter 15

**H**e was drenched in sweat. He has had a nightmare, but about what? About him being in a shuttle, about a big ball which exploded, about people that where full of blue slime. Strange. He switched on the light. He had lost his orientation. Why wasn't he home? Where was he? After a while he had won it back. He was somewhere in Canada. He still wondered why he hadn't gone back. He hadn't known that he could be that mad about his parents. He never had thought that he was able to go through with something like that. Normally he had been the weak one who had given way to prevent more fights and tension than necessary. But this time he was sure that he had crossed the line. There was now no way back and no way to apologize this behaviour. He wasn't able to sleep any longer. Thoughts swirled through his head. He got up, put on his cloths and went out side. It was cold, but the air made him think clear again. He still was confused, but his thoughts and questions were ordered in somehow. Why in hell did his knee hurt? And back? The surrounding seemed strange. The outlines seemed to be blurred, but this probably was caused by the insufficient light out here. He had seen his Mum again. If his father knew that she was here? Probably yes. 'What in hell am I doing here?' He started to ask himself again. 'I have to go home. I've left them alone with all this five years back shit and for what? For living an ego trip? Shit! Why haven't I thought about it earlier? I'm going to turn out like my father! ' He began to feel strange. He started to remember things he was sure of that he hadn't thought of the last year. What…

"Can't you sleep?" Fiona came to him.

"No."

"Your Mum worries about you." She put an arm around his shoulder.

"I know. I can't believe that she knew that I'm here, but didn't come. I mean…this really doesn't match to her. She's not as cold as she pretends to be." There it was. His doubts. Something was strange. Really strange and he needed answers before he went nuts.

"I don't know what your father told her about all this. But they knew that you were here and your father worried as well. He was sick of worry. He called everyday several times, asked for you, if everything was alright; if there was anything he could do for you. If he could have, he would have been here for you. But he needed to stay away. We wanted to make them think that you were no part of this mission anymore. They should think that you were no danger for them. Your father only hardly agreed with that but he understood, although he was really, really be worried. " His father knew? He worried? What was all this about? Since when does his father worry about him? He never had thought that his father would do so. The accident! Now he got the point. He had been in an accident and now he knew who it was. He started to remember how he had called his father to ask him for some help. His father hadn't cared then, but afterwards he had? This didn't make sense.

"What do you mean?"

"This accident was none. They tried to kill you. We had to separate you from the others for your safety and now you got your memory back. We had to take it from you otherwise you never would have staid. Neil, you're the only human being who can help the universe from being destroyed." These black pickup trucks. The lamppost and the roadside ditch. Of course. But why?

"But, I don't understand this. We're five and even in case they would have killed me there still would have been four of us, enough to stop them."

"Sure, but you're the only one who is able to stop them. Your endless potential is what they are afraid of."

"This can't be true. I… this…this is not how things went the first time around…" She pulled him closed to her, sat down with him on a bench and started to explain him what was wrong and what had happened. He began to understand what all this was about. She started to explain him the constellation of the universes and that the time travel was none, but one between universes and that they now were in a parallel universe, in one of endless others. He listened carefully to her. He understood what the balance of universe meant.

"And now?" This was the only thing he was able to say.

"Now it's your turn. Your friends and your father are on their way. The destruction of this universe had already begun. You're the only one who can prevent the end." 'What the fuck is she talking about? This is a job for my father, but not for me! The only thing I'm goof for are researches nothing more.'

"And how?" He asked her. If she knew that much, she should know what he was going to do or what had to be done.

"I can't tell you, but you'll find out."

"Wow, best conditions for saving a universe. I mean, first of all you're kidnapping me, robbing my memory, giving me the feeling to be less than shit and now I should just like that start to save the universe? I mean what the fuck were you thinking, when you were doing all this to me? This is not what I would consider as fun!" He was angry. He had been rude towards his mother, who obviously wasn't to blame for this. He had no idea how he could apologize for that. In fact this was nothing one could apologize and now they told him he had to save the universe, although he had no idea how.

"Neil, this is more than confusing to you, but you have to believe me, everything that had happened only had happened for your safety. You're prepared for your mission and I know that you'll make it."

"But if you know all about this, why haven't you said something a bit earlier?"

"Because it hadn't been the right point of time. Everything that happens happens in respect to the universe's balance."

"But maybe the balance gets lost, when I start to prevent…"

"This is a thread from the outside. Sentients doesn't belong to any universe. If you can stop them here, they will be stopped in every universe the already occurred. They live in the space between all universes. Not in them."

"Oh…Okay." He had trouble to believe all this and when she was right, he had all reason to get frightened. What if he wasn't ready? What if he wasn't the right one and they made a mistake. Maybe they only mixed him up with someone. He wasn't the right one. He couldn't bee. He was too weak, too emotional. He just couldn't be the right one. He felt of the earth under his feet oscillated slightly. It really had begun? Hasn't it?

"You don't need to be afraid. You can do that for sure." She put her arm around his shoulders. He still felt confused. He wished that all this was only a bad nightmare and that he would wake up.

"May I talk to my Mum?" He wanted to apologize for his behaviour. Who knew if he would get another chance to do so?

"Of course. I take you to her room." She offered him.


	16. Chapter 16

**H**e knocked at her door. She was probably asleep, but he needed to talk to her now. He felt badly ashamed for what he had said and how he had behaved. He had acted like a child. He shouldn't act like a child. He should be supposed to act more prudential. She opened the door. She had been sleep. Her hair was tousled and her eyes were only small slits.

"Neil?" She asked him confused. 'Nice, she hadn't count on me. Maybe I better go again. She's sure mad at me and she has all reasons to.'

She hadn't count on her son now. She had thought he had turned his back towards her, that he had left for ever. And now he stood there in front of her. 'My son. He's still so full of heart. No matter what will happen. He's never going to turn into an emotional block of ice, like his father does once in a while. At least one thing I was able to teach him.'

"Uh…yeah. Uhm… I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have said something like that…I mean…that's not…" 'Not…not what? If I say that's not true I would tell them that it was okay how they treated me, but it wasn't. But I can't tell her that. At least things weren't that dramatic or…Nice, the first time I start to apologize and now that? Maybe I should have enrolled for a lecture about: how do I say sorry to my Mum. That would have been helpful now.'

'No, this is not going to start from new. He always had known what he had done wrong and had apologized, in somehow. If I want things to change, we need to talk. No blaming, no screaming, no punishment. Maybe this is my chance to explain and to say sorry. No, not maybe. It is and I'll take it.'

"Don't you want to come in? I'm not likely to talk about this in front of an audience." She took his hand and forced him in. He had started slight attempts against it, but it was useless. He didn't want to hurt her more than necessary. His words had been enough he should start with a limitation of damages. She put on a bathrobe and sat down on the bed, he took a seat on a chair in a corner. She felt his uneasiness. It was something unnatural. A child shouldn't feel uneasy in the presence of his mother. There had gone so many things wrong and her heavy heart told her, that it was to be doubted whether she was able to repair the damage again.

"This is our problem isn't it?" She asked him out of a sudden. He looked questioning at her. He had no clue what she was talking about. He only wanted to apologize and thus he was searching for the right words, but as it seems there was more coming towards him and he was a bit afraid. He didn't want to fight again; he didn't want to blame or to be blamed and didn't want all this screaming and crying. He only wanted to say sorry.

"I mean this distance. You're sitting there, I'm here." She went on. Marc always had set down next to her when they started to talk about sever issues. Neil never had done so. He always had kept a distance between them, as if he was afraid to come too close to her. No, not as if, he was much too afraid of them Children never should be afraid of their parents. Respect was one thing, but fear? She saw how her son looked at her. He didn't understand. Sure he didn't.

"Come here." She said to him in her usual warm voice. He felt a huge uneasiness. He wasn't sure what this was supposed to mean. He wasn't sure if he wanted this conversation. No, he didn't want it. Inwardly he knew what this was going to be about. Inwardly he didn't want to have this conversation although he had wanted it so bad since he can remember. But now? He was afraid of it, afraid of the reality that all had been his fault that he was the reason for his misery and that he was never able to make things undone. He already knew that. He didn't want to hear these words. He has had a desire, but he was much too afraid to satisfy it now.

"I better go." He said, got up and went to the door.

"Don't." She should have known that he wasn't ready for this, that this might be way too much pain for him, more than he could bear. But this conversation was the only option she had to help him feeling better, to make him understand. He turned around, shaking his head slightly. He wanted to tell her that he saw no other way.

"Don't go." He remained. He couldn't go back to her. He didn't belong to her. He didn't belong to his whole family and that was got clear to him now. In fact the only thing that had kept him had been this time travel and their attempt to save the earth. If they had come back from a succeeded mission, he would have gotten into his car and drove home. No word to his father, no word to his mother. He just would have gone, enjoying the weekend before he would go back to his job where he would have tried to avoid his father as much as possible. He never would have visited his Mum or gave her a call. This wasn't only a mind-game, but the bloody truth and he felt worse due thus thought.

"Neil please, come here and sit down. We need to talk." Her son sighed. He was thinking. He was an emotional person, but he tried to act rational. Sometimes she thought his head was blocking his emotions. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to ease the pain he was suffering from. She needed to talk to him, to explain, to say that she was sorry, to give him what he needed.

He had no idea what he had to do. If he just would go out the door. He would avoid this conversation, he would avoid rude words and blames and he …? And things won't change. Things couldn't be made undone, but things could change. He wanted it so bad, but he was afraid of this change. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready for a change.

"Neil honey, I know things went wrong. A lot of things went wrong, but it can't go on like this." She began.

"Mum…don't…this…"

"No, Neil. There had been a point of time on which we've lost you and we need to find out why."

"Mum, we know what the reason for this was. We don't have to talk about it." Why was he so reluctant to talk to her? What was he afraid of? She knew what it was. Every conversation they had, had ended with a lot of screaming and of course this wasn't easy to handle.

"You're talking about drugs and strange parties, but that isn't what I mean. What I mean happened far, far before that and you know that." He shook his head. He was right. How should he know that? For him the truth was what they had told him over years. He had been too young to understand what went wrong maybe he still was too young to do so.

"Mum, don't start with that." He felt uncomfortable. He didn't like it when his Mum started with something like that. This was not the way things went.

" Neil, I have to." She got up, took his hand. Then she let him to the bed and he sat down next to her, focusing his look onto the floor. She saw that he felt uncomfortable.

"Neil, honey, look at me." He looked at her. And there she saw these brown eyes, full of heart, full of pain and confusion, but strong. No matter these eyes had seen it never had broken their owner. She stroke through his hair. He didn't want her to do that. He tried to get some distance between them again.

"Neil I know, we've blamed you for a lot of things and we've been way too hard…"

"No, Mum…you had your reasons…I shouldn't have been that troublesome." The last thing he wanted was his Mum taking then blame for the shit he had caused. This wasn't fair. He didn't want to be blamed for mistakes he hadn't done thus he didn't want his Mum to blame herself for something she wasn't responsible for.

"Let me finish my sentence. We should have seen that you needed more attention. We should have seen that you needed be assisted. We should have pushed you a little more and giving Marc a little more space for himself. We should have seen that you needed help, that you have been underchallenged, but we didn't and I'm really sorry…"

"No Mum. How should you have seen that? I haven't given…" He hated it, when his Mum began with this.

"Neil, we could have realized it. We only should have said yes, instead of always no. When you asked for help, we should have helped you instead of saying you can do it on your own. When you begged for a little more attention you we should have given it to you, instead to ignore you more and more, only because you never made any trouble as little boy. We should have spent some time with you instead of sending you to summer camps year after year." They hadn't had enough time, but they should have taken it from somewhere. Things wouldn't have ended that way. She shouldn't have allowed Chuck to put his career into first place. She shouldn't have allowed Chuck to pay his whole attention to his job and also she should have paid less attention to it, but more to her youngest that had needed it so badly.

No he listened to words he had thought about so many years. How often had he wished that his parents would realize that he had needed them, not only a good school, not only their money. Now he got what his desire had begged for so long, but it didn't feel good. He felt hurt and uneasy. This wasn't what he had wanted or?

"Mum, that's not true…it…" He had no clue what to say.

"You feel bad because of the trouble you've caused." She helped him to find the right words. He really felt bad because if this. At least this had been the reason for all fights and screaming.

She knew that he felt sorry for that. He knew how stupid all this had been and this should have shown her how grown up he already had been. She should have realized this change in him. She hadn't. He was no boy anymore. He was a man, a hurt man who had dealt with a lot of issues due his life, a strong man who didn't know how to bear a grudge, a young man who already had found his way.

"You don't have to feel bad about it. You've found your way, even without our improper help." She again looked into these slightly confused eyes. He had stopped to gainsay her. She got a bit closer to him. He didn't try to bring a distance between them. She put one arm around him. Carefully, not to frighten him, because of something unknown. When had been the last time she had been physically and mentally so close to her little boy? It had been years ago, maybe she never really had been that close to him.

He stopped his attempts to stop her from coming closer and closer. He had no chance against her. Nobody ever had. If she wanted to reach something, she always had success with it. He began to wonder why she knew him that well? He never had thought that she ever had paid any attention to him, but if she knew what he thought, before he had found the right words, she must know him better then anyone else.

She took him into her arms and he didn't fight this close contact.

"I really love you. And I promise you something like this year is never going to happen again." She told him. She wanted to show him that she meant what she had said and that she wanted him back as her little baby he always had been.

The peace got disturbed. The earth began to shake. She began to be frightened, but Neil's presence made he feel safe. He was there and he wouldn't let her alone, she was sure about that.

"What was that?" She asked him. He looked at her. The glance in his eyes had changed, from emotional into a rational calculating.

"Nothing good."

Someone knocked at the door. He had a suspicious feeling. He got up and opened it carefully.


	17. Chapter 17

**T**hey reached the building of the institution.

"The epicentre must be here somewhere." Shandra told them, without taking his look from the screen of his laptop.

"Okay, first of all we should go to Neil and then we can search for the epicentre." He determined. He wanted to see his son. He never had wished to see his son like that before. They entered the building and met Dr. McQueans who had been waiting for them.

"Dr. McQueans, where is my son?" He began to ask. There was no use for politeness in this case. He needed to se his son and then he needed to save the earth. Politeness had to wait for that.

"Mr. Taggart, I'm glad that you're here now. Your son is upstairs right direction at the end of the corridor with your wife." 'What?'

"Sorry, my wife?" 'What in hell was going on?' He felt stunned. His wife wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be with her parents. She was supposed to be safe, not here. 'Oh my God, why didn't I realize that she was able to act like that? Why didn't I realize her desire for her son?'

"Paige Taggart, I guess she is your wife, isn't she?" 'Of course she was, but what is she doing here? She told me that she wanted to go to her parents. She wanted to go to Arizona. This here is not Arizona. This here is far away from her parents.'

"What is she doing here?"

"Searching for her son."

"Mr. Taggart you have to hurry." Shandra interrupted them. He won his composure back.

"Okay, I go and get Neil and you wait and try to find out what to do then." He advised them. Kurt nodded and then he ran up stairs. He stormed into the room and there.

"Step away and nothing happens to her!" A female voice screamed, when he had entered the room. There was a woman pointing a gun at his wife. She looked young, she couldn't be older than Neil.

"Chuck!" Paige called him. He wanted to go to her, but the woman turned around and pointed the gun towards him.

"No step further commander." She threatened him. He did as she said. Her skin looked dead. There was no crease in her face and her hands looked strange. The whole person looked in somehow dead and he realized what this was supposed to mean. What was standing in front of him was anything else than a human being.

"Where is my son?" He asked. McQueans had told him that his son was here, but there was only his wife and this bitch of a synthetic.

"I would like to know that either." The woman said. Neil wasn't there? This boy never would leave his mother alone with such a threat. This didn't fit him.

"Chuck, go and find Neil." Paige began to beg. He was sure that he didn't need to look for him. No matter how much they had hated each other. Both knew how the other one acted, what the other man thought. This had been the reason why Ed had put them together into one team although everybody had been against it, because if their obvious conflict. He remained where he was. He was aimless. He wouldn't have any chance against this bitch.

"What about a deal Taggart?" The girl said. It didn't look like more than that.

"Depends on the content." He answered.

"Your son for your wife." A life for a life. He could only hope that his suspicion about Neil was right. He wasn't able to make this decision. He wasn't able to lose anyone of both. He needed both. He couldn't make this decision.

"Chuck you have to…"

Shot and a lot of blue and white phlegm. Where did this come from? He had no time to think about that. He needed to safe Paige. He took her into his arms.

"What…What was…that?" She asked him.

"Nothing we have to worry about anymore."

"At least we don't have to worry about this one." He heard a voice from behind. He turned around and there he was. His son. His little skinny son, who was everything else than little anymore.

"Neil! Where have you been?" He asked his son, who stood in the door frame. He never had felt this kind of relieve. Seeing his son alive with a cheeky impression up his face, was the best what had happened to him since years.

"Hey, c'mon human against synthetic, my chances would have been less than zero and I really don't need some more broken bones." A smug answer. But he didn't expect something else. It was a good sign to hear that his son still was the cheeky monkey he always had been.

"You're right." Chuck went to his son and hugged him.

"Hey, boys could you explain me what this thing was?" Paige asked them. Chuck looked at his son. He was likely to know how this thing was able to enter this institution.

"Uh…my girlfriend…hey, but I didn't know about something like that then."

"Maybe you should start to control your testosterone." He answered him, but he wasn't angry about it. He knew about his son's charm and the fact that he could get every girl he wanted. He should enjoy this time until he had found the one he never wanted to lose anymore.

"I think of it later."

"Okay, then let us go, there is no time to waste." He said and then they went off.

* * *

They sat in Dr. McQueans's study. Naran Shandra had started to explain to Neil what has happened or better, what was going to happen. He still would like to know how his son was able to get his mind around all this stuff. He had stopped trying to understand what was going on. He only had been focused on finding solutions.

"Uhm…epicentre?" Neil asked Shandra.

"Yeah. Dr. Mendel had told me that what you've seen was no explosion, but an implosion."

"Higher external pressure than internal pressure, but what do you mean with epicentre?" His son asked on.

'Wow, now I know what an implosion is. Why didn't I understand this earlier?'

"This is the point from which the pressure is generated. After I told Dr. Shandra about the implosion he had installed a system which meters the pressure on earth and he had found out about a few irregularities." Kurt started to get involved as well.

"Okay, pressure, earth shakes, implosion. I got it until there, but what has a computer code to do with it and why is this code revolving?" Neil pointed at the screen of the Laptop.

"I installed this code as a kind of observer. It controlled the actions of the other sentients, but the fact that it is resolving now is an indicator that they have found it and started to kill my code, because none of them is able to absorb it, like they have absorbed the others. The fight had begun. They will destroy the earth." He looked at his son, whose glance told him that he thought the same. 'What the fuck is this speech supposed to mean?' He watched his son thinking. Maybe he soon would get the answer to his question.

"Okay, tell me when I'm wrong." His son started after a while.

"We're faced with two sentients which fight each other and one of them had killed your observer for the case he might intervene." Shandra nodded. He by himself was thinking about how his son was able to make this out of the Hindi's speech.

"And due to this fight the fibre optics, which are spread over the whole earth to provide even the most outlying corner with internet, start to get overload. This produces a nice heat, a lot of very fast moving atoms and molecules, which leads to a lack of space under the earth's atmosphere, the pressure increases and increases and at the end the pressure is that high that the earth's core can't get along with it." 'What? Now I understand how someone with such a big problem with authorities got into NASA.' Again he was faced with the fact that his son's potential exceeded his considerably. No wonder why Ed always has had an eye on his son and why he had started to take to role of father figure. This potential needed a strong hand which guided it a long the right way. It had been his job, but he had failed.

"Right and the epicentre is the point where the fight takes place and this is here." Shandra went on.

"Our server. The institution commands an intranet which gets provided by our own server." Dr. McQueans added.

"Where is this?" Kurt asked.

"Down stairs in the cellar."

"Then we should head off." He began. He wanted to get this thing to an end. He couldn't wait until he would be able to live a normal life again.

"Hey, one moment please. You want me to do what? Play the role of the mediator?" His son asked confused. Right there still was the question what his son had to do in all this.

"No, you should stop them." Dr. Shandra answered, but he didn't saw a difference between stop someone and a role of mediator.

"And how?"

"No idea." Kurt answered. Chuck saw how Neil was close to go berserk. He could understand him too well. Nothing was worse than getting told that you had to do a job, but nobody had an answer what it was or how he had to do it.

"Best conditions for saving the earth." Sarcasm. How often had he met this shell? A shell which pretended his son being emotional, a shell which pretended others to see what he really felt and thought about what was going on. He caught the frightened glance from Paige. How much would he have liked to tell her that things were going to be alright again and that she didn't need to be frightened, but he couldn't tell her that. The only thing he knew as that things would come to an end this night, but what kind of end nobody was able to predict. He took her into his arms, how he always did, before he went to his job for another mission. She would feel at least a bit saver again. Then they went all together to the server. Dr. McQueans and his wife, Kurt and Angela, Naran Shandra, Paige and he. All hoped that Neil was able to do what they all expected him to do. He didn't want to change with his son. The pressure on his shoulders must be immense and he wasn't sure if he would have been able to bear it. His son himself didn't show any kind of uneasiness and he admired him for that.

They reached the server and Shandra immediately connected his laptop with it. On the screen they saw a clutter of numbers and symbols. Blue and green. It looked like the codes when Harry had entered the world of sentients and got united with this killer sentient.

"Wow." His son said. It sounded as if he had no clue what he should do about this. He was thinking.

"I have no clue what to do with this. Maybe we should find someone who knows a bit more about this." His son stated. He was insecure. But this didn't mean that he wasn't able to solve this problem. How often had he doubted in his skills at NASA? How often had he asked for someone else to do a job, because he hadn't been sure whether he was able to? Only when he knew he was alone he started to trust in his skills.

"Neil I've told you, you can do it." Dr. Morgan started to encourage him, but his son didn't react. He looked at these codes.

"Dr. Shandra, you invented these codes, maybe you better know what to do to stop them." He started. Was this a matter to get rid of the pressure on his shoulders? This wouldn't match his son, but he could imagine that everyone would get cold feet in such a situation.

"But they have developed. These codes have nothing in common with those I have invented." Computer codes which had started to develop on their own as if they were some kind of natural thing. He really began to hate these freaks.

"But on which base did you program them? I mean at least their base needs to be the same." His son was thinking.

"I have thought about the same, but there's nothing." He saw how his son was close to despair. He tried to find a way to help him, but unfortunately he couldn't. Nobody could help his son with that.

"Honey, don't worry. Just be calm." Although his wife probably didn't know what was going on she had figured what pressure was left on her son and she felt how he struggled to deal with it. She always knew what was going on inside of their children and she always knew how to calm them down.

"Okay, this looks in somehow familiar to me, but I don't know where and when I've seen it." His son rubbed his eyes. He was nervous. Kurt sat down next to his son, also focusing the screen. Another earthquake began to disturb them. He took Paige into his arms to prevent her from falling.

"We have to hurry." Shandra began to panic.

"Instead of standing around you should start to help. After all this here is your doing." Angela began to bark at him. She spoke words he thought.

"Neil look as his." Kurt made Neil aware of a symbol which was part of both sentient codes.

"Yeah, you're right this symbol gets repeated frequently, as well as this on and this." Neil pointed at two other symbols.

"Here what about this?" Angela asked.

"Okay, okay. This is looks like a first step. We have four frequently repeated symbols. We only need to know why and when they get repeated." Neil concluded. 'Skinny I don't wanna be unfair, but you should start to hurry. I have the feeling as if we don't have enough time.' Again they were shaken by another earthquake.

"This looks like a mathematical equation to me. But nothing I ever had to deal with." Neil went on.


	18. Chapter 18

**H**e saw how his friend was struggling to find a solution. He did everything to help him, but all this was way to far away from his skills. He never would have come to the assumption that this was something like a mathematical equation.

"Here look at this. When we see this symbol in green, the blue code gets resolved or at least it loses four lines. But then we have this symbol and a new group of lines is added and these two symbols have the same meaning only for the green code." He was stunned. How was this boy able to figure out this that fast?

"This means what to you?" He kept on.

"I don't know. Maybe this is something like calculus of probability, but I'm not sure."

"Why?" Maybe if he started to get Neil into deep thinking he would get the point.

"Uhm…see these symbols as factor of probability. It occurs frequently, but not exactly the same time. Sometimes it needs ten lines, sometimes nine or even twelve."

"Okay, I understand. The probability of this symbol to occur affects the probability of this code to decrease." Kurt pointed at on symbol. 'C'mon dude. I know that you're close to a solution, just strain your brain.' Neil sighed. The boy began to be nervous. No wonder with such a pressure in his neck. He would freak out.

"I need to get the probability of all four symbols tend to zero."

"But then we have a stand-off." He added. They needed a final solution nothing which would give them peace for a while. Who knew how fast these sentients were able to develop.

"Not necessarily. When I know how I can let these codes tend to zero, I probably know how to let them tend to minus infinity." This was smart. As long as these codes tended to be positive they existed. But negative? Quantities in a negative field couldn't exist on earth.

"Do you know how to do that?" Chuck intervened. This was his first sentence in this game. He never had watched Chuck being quiet like that.

"Maybe. I can't promise anything." Neil looked at his father. He was looking for confirmation. All knew in somehow that this was their only chance. If this was a wrong decision, they all would die the whole earth would stop to exist.

"Neil, you're well prepared for this. Believe me." Dr. McQueans's wife began to encourage Neil. Another earthquake followed. They had become worse.

"Okay." Neil said and then started to work on the codes. He worked on a mathematical equation, only using his head. This was more he ever had thought Neil was able to. He had underestimated him. But this didn't matter anymore. The only thing which was important now, was how this boy managed to save the earth. He listened to the frequently sound of the keys Neil was tipping on.

It took very long, at least this was how it felt. He was intensely looking for something he could do to help his friend, but he was useless in this case. He hated it to be useless. Nobody said a word. They were waiting for something to happen. What it was nobody was able to predict. He saw how Chuck and Paige stood there as one unit. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, he hold her tight. Only now he had realized that Angela was in his arms. He wasn't sure, when he had taken her into his arms, but now she was there and he felt her warm body. He became a little calm again. No matter what would happen next, he was with her and this was the most important thing for him. He had won her back, whether they would be able to save the earth or not. At least he had saved his relationship to her. He saw how she stroke with her hand over her stomach and then looked at her. There was an unknown glance in her eyes. No, no unknown glance. He only had seen it once. After they had come back from Paris, when his book tour had been finished… 'Oh my God! No, it matters that we save the earth. This…oh my God.'

"Are you sure?" He whispered only audible for her. She nodded and gave him a slight smile. 'Neil my friend, you'd better know what you are doing.'

They still waited. Nobody dared to move.

"Okay, I've done everything I can." Neil said out into the silence. How long did it take him to finish his job? It seemed as if it had been hours.


	19. Chapter 19

**H**e had finished the last line. Now they had to wait. He only wished that his plan had been the right one. If not? 'Pleas let the hell be over. I only want my normal life back.', he began to beg. Another earthquake. He looked at Kurt. This was nothing good. 'Shit, what have I've done wrong?' He looked back onto the screen. The earth didn't stop to shake. The codes on the screen got mixed. Blue, green, blue, green, as if they had united with each other. 'No, no, no! This can't be true. Damn it, what have I done wrong?' He began to think, but he was blocked. He wasn't able to think a clear though. Panic arose inside and he looked questioning at his father who held his wife in his arms, he face buried at his chest.

"Neil, what did you do?" His father asked him.

"Nothing, no at least, what I told you I wanted to do, nothing else." He felt a strong heat radiating from the server. 'Shit, something went definitely wrong, but what? Hell, I need a clear thought!' The panic inside of him grew bigger and bigger and it felt hard to maintain composure. Suddenly the server began to spark. He had to cover his eyes with his hands. He felt the spark on the back of his hands like a lot of hot needles. He turned away from it, searching for his father, his mother, for Kurt for all of them, but he couldn't see anything, he only saw an extremely bright light and there was this noise. A permanent screaming noise, which made him nearly insane. 'Fuck, what the hell is going on?' The sound became louder and louder, shriller and shriller. He wanted this to come to an end, no matter if this would mean death or not. He felt like in eddy water. He had no chance to defend against it. Something pulled him into a direction he wasn't able to tell where it was. Something tugged at his body and it began to hurt. He felt as if he was swirled through an agravic space. The sound became quiet. His ears began to relax and the pull at his body became less and less.

He had arrived somewhere.

"Neil, honey, are you alright?" He heard a warm voice. He opened his eyes and saw his mother, kneeling at his side.

"Yeah, thanks." He got up onto his feet again. They were all there. But where was this? It looked like the inside of the Seeker's spacecraft. It was bright and it was white and warm, but the floor beneath his feet was something…? Something what? He looked at Kurt and then to his father. Both beckoned him that they had no clue either. He looked at Fiona and her husband. The only two which didn't look confused, but as if they knew what was going on.

"Sorry, but what is this here?" He asked Dr. McQueans.

"We're somewhere between space and time."

"And where exactly is this?" His father asked. Sometimes he asked himself how his father had passed the NASA program with such a lack of comprehension of natural sciences.

"The room between the universes." Dr. McQueans answered. 'Wow, until now things like that only existed in theory. I never would have thought that I would see this in real.'

"And how did we get here?" His Mum asked. She looked frightened. He would have liked to tell her that she didn't need to worry. But he wasn't sure if this was any help now and on the other hand she had her husband at her side. When he had learned a lesson from his father, then that he would do everything for his wife, no matter how high the price was supposed to be.

"A wormhole." Fiona answered. 'Great, do you want her to freak out or what?'

"And how did it get there?" Kurt asked. In somehow he didn't want to know more about all this anymore. He was fed up. They told him that he had to save the earth, but nobody told him how and now they were in nowhere.

"At the location the threat had left our universe it had left a hole and through the suction we were dragged out of our universe and landed here." Dr. McQueans answered.

"What about this universe?" Chuck asked. It was the same question he was thinking about. Did he succeed or not?

"The universe survived. Your mission succeeded, unfortunately we have been too close to the epicentre, and thus we're here now." Dr. Morgan answered. 'Cool. We've saved six billion people, but what about us?' He began to feel bad. The only reason for him, trying everything to save the earth, had been his family and now? He hadn't been able to save them. Well, okay, Marc was still there, but his Mum was here with them.

"And what about us?" Angela asked. She stood close to Kurt. They both looked as if they had something going with each other. Of course they had, only nobody of them had wanted to admit it.

"This wormhole only leads to one other parallel universe to the one you have lived in before." Dr. McQueans answered. He looked at his wife. It was a sad look and he didn't understand it. Then Fiona looked at him, still with sad eyes.

"And where is the problem?" His father asked.

"The only difference will be that this universe lies nearly two years behind your former one."

"And no sentienst of course." Kurt added.

"Of course no sentients."

"So, what are we still doing here?" His father asked.

"Damn it, don't you understand? The only difference will be the time shift. You both" Fiona pointed at Kurt and Angela "You both still will be a couple and yes in a one year you will have your first baby. And Mrs. Forbes will marry her new fiancé and will found a new family with he healthy son and…"

"And Marc will stay." Chuck concluded. He was confused for the thousandth time. Fiona looked despaired. She was close to cry and his Mum looked questioning at him. He shook his head to show her that he had no clue either.

"You can go and nothing will happen, you can start a new life and try to become happy, but if he comes with you…" Fiona now started to cry, intensely looking at him. 'What's wrong with me?'

"The universe's balance isn't ready for him."

"What do you mean?" His Mum now sounded nervous.

"Your new life will start in the night of your fight. He will be on his way to Canada…" Out of a sudden he had inkling, about what this was.

"You mean this black pickup truck after I left Holly." He concluded and Fiona nodded.

"No, this can't be true. I mean the sentients won't be there this is what you've told us." 'This is not fair. Everybody shell be allowed to start a new life, despite of me?'

"This one hasn't had to do something with the sentients." Dr. McQueans answered calm. 'Wow, I'm fucked.'

"But you can't let him here. I…" His Mum began to cry as well. 'Nice, now I'm the reason for two women to cry. Hell I really start to hate being me.'

"Chuck…we can't let him here, alone." His Mum started to beg. The first time in his life he realized that his Mum really must have suffered under the year he hadn't been home and he got a bad conscience because of it.

"Is there really no other way? Can't you send us into another universe?" Kurt began to ask. He wasn't able to say anything or to think. He was…he was, nothing more.

"Unfortunately not, this universe is your only possibility."

"And what is going to happen with me?" When he wasn't able to go with the others and when there was no other universe he was able to enter, what in hell's name would happen to him?

"You're going to be a creature wandering through the universes. But you won't be a part of it. You can't until you have found a universe which owes a balance with you as a part of it." 'Shit. Nice perspective. This really sounds like fun.'

"He will have to remain here? You can't be serious." His Mum intervened.

"If you want your son to be save this is the only solution." Fiona answered.

"No! I've missed him for nearly two years and it felt like dieing. You can't take my son from me." She began to beg.

"Mrs. Taggart I can imagine how you must feel, but there is no other way. This is not easy for me as well. I would likely to take him with us, but we can't." Fiona answered.

"Is there no chance for him to remain in this universe?" His father began to ask.

"He's right. There must be a chance. There is always a negative side, things are never hundred percent for sure, even not in the natural sciences." Kurt started. Since when did someone put his shoulder to the wheel for him? Nobody ever had done so and now, his Mum and Kurt and even his Dad?

"You're right in this point, but do you really want to take this risk?"

"Yes!" He answered. This was about him, so why did Dr. McQueans ask someone else if he wanted to take the risk? This was his life, his risk, so this was his decision.

Everybody looked at him, after he had said this.

"Neil?" Fiona said stunned, "You can't do this."

"Yes I can. I don't wanna stay here. If I'm dead or if I get lost here, where is the difference? At least when I come with them, I have a little chance and I can influence it." Last thing he wanted was that he had to stay in this white what ever it was.

"Neil…" Fiona tried to change his mind, but he knew what he wanted.

"No, I don't want to stay here alone. I have been alone for so long and I can't describe how miserable you feel when you have nobody to talk to, when there is nobody you can ask for help or anything and this is not going to last any longer." There it was. He didn't want to be alone any longer. He was fed up with this. He knew that he probably couldn't count on his family, but he was ready to take his life into his hands and he was ready to navigate it into a direction he wanted it to go to. Now where their mission was over, he was the only one determining his life and he didn't want to waste this chance, but take it, although it meant that this only was going to last for a second and less.

"Neil, you're too young to understand this." Fiona went on.

"No, I think my son exactly knows what this means and he had made his decision. We'd better support him instead of trying to persuade him from something else." His father intervened. 'Since when does this man think of me as old enough?' His perspective of life got changed more and more with every second.

"Is this your last word?" Dr. McQueans asked him. He only nodded. No matter if he would die or not. This was better than being kept in nowhere alone. He always had thought that being dead was better than being alive, alone and hurt. He only had been too much of a coward to make this cut on his own.

"Then I wish you all a lucky and successful new life. May stress and strains have an end." Dr. McQueans said and then led them to their new life.


	20. Chapter 20

**A** bright light shone into his eyes. What was that? What has happened? Where was he? The bright light vanished. His side began to hurt, then his chest a little later his back. What was that? He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. He wanted to move but he wasn't able to. He had been at Holly he had wanted to talk to her. No, he had been in this white space. No, this only was a dream? He heard a screaming noise. It hurt his ears.


	21. Chapter 21

**I**t rained like a son of a bitch. There had been an accident. Holly had called them. He drove as fast as he could. He had wished that this wouldn't become true, but his wish wasn't fulfilled. The first thing he found was the helmet. He was scared. What if his son's decision had been wrong? He wasn't able to think about that. He tried to think about his son's strong will and the fact that this had brought him everywhere he had wanted to.

He found him. He stopped the car. Got out of it and ran to his youngest. He lay between a lamppost and his bike. It looked worse than he had been able to imagine. He never had seen the results of a road accident and never had thought it could look as bad. He didn't panic. He knew how to handle this. At least one thing the NASA training had been good for. He looked around for some help. Only Holly stood there in the rain, helpless only crying. Obviously she hadn't administered any first aid. Fury arose in him. How stupid must one be? He wondered where her parents were, but he knew that also her parents were nothing more than rich people who thought that education and money was enough. He had felt himself how wrong this assumption was.

"Mr. Taggart!" She screamed, when he had reached her.

"Did you call an ambulance?" He immediately asked her? She was obviously in shock.

"What?"

"An ambulance?" She shook her head.

"Here, can you do that?" She nodded, took his mobile and called for an ambulance. He went to his son who lay there, motionless. He still was in rage because of this unskilled chicken his son had called girlfriend. If one thing was for sure then that she wasn't close to be a girlfriend for his son.

"Hey skinny, do you hear me?" His son's face was pale. His nose was bleeding. He prayed for this not being what he thought this was. Now he wished he hadn't won knowledge through his NASA training. Maybe this wasn't as helpful as he thought. Knowing what injuries your son might suffer from was worse than seeing it, without any idea. At least this would give some more hope.  
"Hmm." he heard his son. One good sign. His son still was alive. He needed him to stay awake.

"Can you tell me what has happened?" He asked his son. He didn't get a response. 'Keep cool, everything will be alright.'

"Neil, are you there?" He heard how his son groaned in pain. He touched his son's hand. It was cold as ice.

"Where does it hurt?" He asked him.

"Every…where." The voice sounded weak, but there was still a voice and he should be glad about this.

"Your head? Back, chest? Your legs?" Why did he ask this? He couldn't do anything against it anyway.

"In…this order." His son answered. He couldn't hide a smile. His son laid here in pain, but still was able to give smug answers. Maybe he would make it.

"Air." His son whispered. He didn't understand.

"What do you want?"

"Take…this…fucking…bike from…my back." His son managed to say. Now he realized how his son struggled for breath and that he not only lay, but even was jammed between the lamppost and his bike.

"I can't, we have to wait for an ambulance." The last thing he wanted to do was to move his son. He only would cause more damages. The position of the bike indicated that it had hit his son's back and probably broke his backbones.

"Dad…please." Neil whispered. He looked into his son eyes. They were begging for relieve. It was the same look his youngest had when he ha asked him for a little help, for a little attention, what he never had gotten. He sighed. He had refused him so much he had asked for and this probably was the last relief he could offer his son. 'Fuck off'.

"Okay, but if you start to feel uncomfortable, you tell me." He started to get the bike from his son's back. He was close to kill this Holly who only stood there and did nothing. Wasn't Neil supposed to be her boyfriend? After he had managed to get the bike of Neil, he feared that his son might have left.

"Hey, better?"

"Hmm." His son was shivering badly and he still struggled for air. He took of his jacket and put it over his son. He kneeled down, into the puddle beneath. He wished he could do more, but this was all he could have done. He only had to keep his son alive. 'Damn it, how long do they need to come here?'

"Holly, where is the ambulance?" He asked her.

"They…told me they …send for one as…as…as soon as one …will be free."

"Damn it! Couldn't you have told me earlier?" He screamed at her. His son laid in the wet dirt in front if her house and probably wouldn't make it, and she stood there doing nothing and now telling him that the ambulance won't be there early enough. He began to despair. He wanted to do something, but there was nothing and this thought was driving him insane.

"Neil?"

"hmm."

"Just stay here okay?" He had no idea what he should talk about to his son. He carefully stroke through his sons hair, dried his face from the rain and tried to stop the bleeding at his temple. He did everything to let his son know that he wasn't alone. His son's breath went harder with every passing second and strange sounds came from his son's chest.

"How's…Mum?" His son asked him? He wondered why his son started to worry about his mother. He more should worry about himself right now.

"She's okay. A bit confused after what had happened. But I think, concerning our first time travel we can imagine how she feels."

"No…dream?" Now he knew where the cat jumped.

"No dream. No sentients, no synthetics. Only normal and boring everyday life."

"Cool." His son fought for more air and there was no sign for an ambulance coming. He began to be nervous and he had the feeling as if he already waited for hours.

"Neil, can you promise me something?" He waited, but no response. 'No, I'm not going to make things that easy for you. You'll push though this, free will or forced.'

"Hey, c'mon. Neil?"

"hmm."

"Neil, do you know what we've always said?" He started to talk. He wasn't sure if he only did this for his son or for himself to remain calm. He also had no clue why he had started to talk about this he only hoped that this might keep his son's will to fight upright.

"We've always said: this boy never will make it to something appropriate. And then you showed it to everyone." He felt how his eyes filled with tears. He felt how his son had to struggle and he was proud that he didn't give up, what would have been easier, but he also felt how his son's strength left and that he had no chance to win this fight, without help.

"Maybe you can do this again?" He son didn't respond, but began to cough. Red foam came out his mouth. 'No, no, this is not going to happen. Not here, not in front of my eyes. When you want to die, you have to do it somewhere else.'

"Neil, c'mon. You have to fight. I know you can make it." He started to hold his son's head up right.

"What's wrong with him?" Holly hysterically asked him. This was the last thing he needed.

"He's choking on his own blood!" He screamed. He didn't like this girl. He never had. He always had known that this girl wasn't the right one for his son. She wasn't good enough for him. Then he heard nothing. No coughing, no strange noise from his son's chest.

"Neil?" His son's eyes were closed.

"Skinny? Hey, you can't leave me alone." Now he had begun to cry. He held his son tight in his arms.

"We've gone together through so much shit. You can't leave me alone. Who else at the centre then is going to drive me nuts? Who else shell start to annoy Hodge? Who else shell fool around with these science freaks?" He cried and cried. How was he supposed to survive the death of his youngest? How would he and Paige be able to live on? How would Marc deal with his brother's death?


	22. Chapter 22

**S**he looked through the window. They had told her that he little boy was in a coma. For her it seemed as if he was sleeping, but this illusion soon got destroyed when she had looked at him, hooked on an artificial respiration and several IV's and other machines. They weren't sure if her little boy would make it, but if he would, he probably was going to be a case of nursing care. His backbone was smashed and nobody was able to predict what damage it had caused on his spinal marrow. There had been several internal injuries and now he got foreign blood. She didn't like the thought that her son was supplied by blood from a person she didn't even know. It sounded disgusting to her, but if it helped her son to survive it was a good thing. And there had been so many broken bones. It was awful. She was glad that her little boy wasn't able to notice anything. She felt awfully helpless. There was nothing she could do. She wanted to help her son, to make him feel better, but she even didn't know if he felt anything right now. Holly had been there, she had wanted to see how Neil was, but she had sent her away. She had been there and hadn't been able to call an ambulance. If she has had only a few seconds time -for her what she called boyfriend- Neil probably wouldn't be here now, but at home, where he belonged to. How could she still consider herself as girlfriend? She hadn't been there for him, when Neil needed someone. She had been bothered by his problems, didn't want to listen to him. She only wanted to have fun, nothing more, but this never had been enough for her boy. This never could have been enough for him. Her little baby was so full of emotions, he needed somone who responeded to them. Holly never had done so. Only now she realized how lonely her little boy must have been. More than twenty-two years of painful loneliness and it never had broken her son. He had went on and on, nevertheless how hard things had been. After all she had witnessed, after all she knew, she began to wonder why she never had realized that her son was more than a pot smoinkg good for nothing. Why hadn't she seen that her son only had been fooling them, playing a role? Why hadn't she seen that all this rebellious behaviour had been nothing more than a measure of protection? With this she began to feel guilty. How hurt must her boy have been, when he needed such measures? How badly must he have been hurt, when he needed to protect himself against him own parents? This whole thing was the result of misunderstandings and their disability to pay attention, to care for their little son. Why hadn't been someone there for him? Why had he to be alone? Why had he to be alone in a houshold which was full of people? Twenty-two years of pain and loneliness but it never had brokern her baby. He had gone on and on, nevertheless what had come towads him, nevertheless how alone he had been, he had won every fight.

She still wanted to kill this drunken woman who had crashed into her baby. She wanted to kill this hit-and-run driver, who was Holly's aunt. She felt so much hate inside, she never thought she was able to feel. One person had caused so much pain and wasn't even able to say sorry. She hated this woman, who had caused this misery. She hated Holly for not having time for her little baby, although he had needed someone so badly. She also hated her husband who had picked up this silly quarrel although he had known better, although he already had known that his son was such an intelligent boy. In somehow she even hated Marc, because he hadn't cared for his brother's problems. And most of all she hated herself for horning in into this stupid fight, for not recognizing the change in her son, for not realizing what a boy he was. Now she stood here waiting for any sign that her son was going to push through this, but there was nothing. And all this only because they had forced their little baby out of their house, out of his home where he should have been safe. He never had been safe there, in no single minute. That's why he always had been out for so long. She stood there watched her little son and waited for her other son. Marchad brought Chuck home, seeing his son that bad injured had hit him for six. He had been close to a nervous break down. She won't ever forget how he stood there, his shirt drenched in his son's blood, this empty glance in his eyes, having lost his composure. Nothing ever had made him that weak as he had been in this moment. He never had lost composure, he always had been that one who still stood upright when all others already had been in a sorry state. This must have been the most awful experience in his life and she was glad that she hadn't had to witness. She was thankful that her husband had been there. She didn't want to think of what had happened if he hadn't driven to his son, to help him. Holly would have let her son die, without betting an eyelid. How could her little baby been so in love with such a bitch?

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"How's he doing?" Marc asked in a quite voice. He had staid calm through the whole time, but in his inside his emotions seethed as her did. She could see it in the way he acted, in his eyes, his voice. Why did she know Marc that good? Why was she able to see what he felt and thought, but not what was going on with Neil? Was she really such a bad mother? She was and this was no secret to her. She always had thought that she was managing the houshold and her children well, but she didn't. Neil had fallen apart and she hadn't caught him up. He had pulled himself out of the mess he had sat in and had started to become an astronaut like his father. She probably never was going to expire this development, her son never was going to be a part of NASA. Worse of all, he probably never would be a part of her life again.

"Nothing changed yet, but he's still alive." She took his hand. She had waited for him, before she entered the room. She wasn't able to handle this on her own. From this distance things already were so awful, it would be worse inside. She needed him, his comfort and support.

"I better wait here. I don't think that he wants me to be here." Marc refused. She looked at him. He felt uneasy. He always had kept a distance between him and Neil. Not in a mean or aggressive way, but in a defensive one. He always had made clear to his little brother that they were nothing more than the children from the same people.

"Why do you keep a distance? He's your brother. I'm sure he wants you to be here." She tried to make him feel better. There was something working on his mind and she had a slight idea what this was. But she also knew that Neil never had thought of Marc as a kind of enemy. He always had looked up to him.

"I don't, but…He doesn't like me, so I don't wanna bother him with my presence." She gave her son a little smile. He was looking for an explanation. He had found none. She knew much too well how wrong this sentence was. And she knew that Marc didn't believe what he had said himself. Sure they had their little fights, but this was nothing unusual for brothers. But inwardly one would give his life for the other one.

"You always knew what he hid from us, didn't you?" She asked him. He nodded.

"Why didn't you say a word?" He needed to get rid of this. She saw it in his eyes, in his face. He tried so hard to be his father, but this cold calculating character didn't fit him. This wasn't his personality.

"It was embarrassing. I…he's five years younger than me, but reads books I'm not able to understand what they are about…he…he explained me physical equations I needed hours for to understand. This is just embarrassing." She traced with her hand over his cheek.

"No, this isn't embarrassing. He's only an exceptional talent. Nobody should feel embarrassed because of this. People like him you only find one in a billion."

"And that's the point. He's an exception and I'm only standard and even not that." Oh no. None of her son's was going to think about himself that bad. But unfortunately both did so. What had she done that both sons had the feeling of not being enough for them?

"Oh no. That's not true. You're a wonderful son and I know that you will be perfect in everything you want."

"Sure, NASA is the best proof for it."

"I was talking about something you want, not what your father or I want. Don't you think I didn't realize that NASA is the last thing you want to be part of?" She had the feeling as if this was the right time to tell her son this. She probably would lose one; she didn't want to lose her other one because of nothing.

"But…"

"Nothing but. Now you come with me. I'm sure your brother wants you to be at his side. Inwardly he had admired you for the way you're handling our rotten family situation, trying to hold upright an illusion, without breaking." She remembered her youngest look, when Marc again had been able to be something he didn't want to be and this in a more than excellent manner.

"That's why he called me a brown-noser."

"He was only envious, because he isn't able to switch into another role than the one he owes."

"But don't you think this way it's better than turning with the wind?"

"No, it only causes more trouble. Your father is the best example. And you aren't turning with the wind as long as your aim remains the same. Why not using a role to reach it, without trouble, but in a more diplomatic way? You're not changing your personality. You only know how to behave in each situation. That's what I mean with switching into roles. You know how to choose the diplomatic way."

"How do you do this?" Her son took her into his strong arms.

"What?"

"Never losing your optimism and always finding the right words?"

"Experience of life." She took her son's hand again and then they entered the room. With her son at her side, she was sure she was able to bear this now. She felt how Marc had trouble to remain calm, but she didn't feel different.

* * *

Week after week had passed and her son still hadn't awoken from the coma, but maybe this wasn't as bad. There still were a lot of surgeries to be done, to fix his backbones, his knee, his wrist. She entered her son's room. He still hadn't started to breath on his own, but this didn't mean the world. She was sure that her son was going to make it. He only needed some more time to rest. No matter what the doctors told her, she was reluctant to believe that her little baby would never come home again. She went to her son, gave him a kiss.

"Hey honey. Kelsey and Bodanis have called and asked for you. They wanted to come by for a visit, but I told them that they should wait a bit. I know you don't want anyone to see you like that." She went to the window and opened it. She knew her son would hate this, being helpless and reliant on other people's help. He always had managed everything on his own. He would feel annoyed when someone would take his independency from him.

"Your brother had quit NASA. I think this is the best he could have done. He had applied for a university place at Princeton and now guess what he wants to study. One hint: it has nothing to do with mathematics or physics." She waited, although she knew that her son wouldn't answer, but maybe he did hear her and she wanted to give him a chance to think for himself.

"Law. Your brother wants to be a lawyer. This matches much better than this scientific stuff. What do you think?" She sat down, took her son's hand and talked to him as if he was awake.

Weeks went on like that. Her son's injuries didn't heal well or better not as fast as they should, but this meant nothing to her. She visited her son everyday and staid several hours. Sometimes she brought some flowers, sometimes she drunk a caramel macchiato, her son's favourite, maybe the smell would wake him up. But there was no change insight, but she didn't lose her hope. Her son would wake up. She knew him. He wouldn't run away from a little problematic situation like this one. He would fight this. He only was regaining his strength for this fight. Her husband watched about it with a critical eye, but he never had been a very emotional person, he wasn't able to understand that she needed this.

* * *

Sometimes all three went to look after Neil. Today was such a day.

"Paige he's in a coma for over two months now." Chuck started a conversation. Why did he tell her this? She knew that. She didn't need him to say these words aloud.

"I know."

"Paige I talked to the doctor. This kind of stadium…he…probably won't wake up anymore."

"Chuck, what do you want to tell me?" She hated it, when her husband started to beat around the bush. They never had done so, she wouldn't start with it. There was no need for this behaviour.

"That…that…Paige he's dead. The only thing keeping him alive is this! He's a living machine…nothing more!" Chuck screamed at her, while he was pointing at the respirator.

"No…no, this, you can't talk like that!" She screamed back. She won't allow her husband to think of his son as already dead. He wasn't in a position to take all her hope from her. It was not her fault that he was such an emotionless and rational person. She wouldn't allow him to bother her with his calculating thougts.

"Paige you need to face the facts! He's never going to make it." How could her husband talk like that? He would make it, she was sure about that. He had pushed through so much he only needed his time. This here was no little problme to be solved. This here was a battle which needed time to be won. She flew into rage.

"How can you dare to talk like that?" She slapped her husband's face. He only shook his head and left. She saw how Marc followed him. She couldn't hear what it was. Chuck left. Marc came back to her.

"His life had started with a fight and it been a fight through all his seventeen years. He's only taking a brake and he deserves it." She couldn't hold back her tears. She had to cry. She had to cry, because her husband was right. The chances that her son would wake up again tended to zero and there had been no sign that this was going to change. Inwardly she already had lost all her hope. Inwardly she knew that her son wasn't strong enough for this fight. They already had taken so much strength from him, there wasn't enough left for himself. Her husband was right and this hurt. It hurt so badly. She had lost her son and she never had been able to show him that she really meant these words she had given to him this one night before the chaos had broken out.

Marc took her into his arms. She shouldn't have allowed him to come back with them. She should have explained to him, why he needed to stay in this what ever it was. But she hadn't been able to do so. She had known that she would have lost her son and this was unbearable for her.


	23. Chapter 23

"**D**ad, do you have to be so fucking cruel? You know how hard this is for her. You can't talk to her like that!" His son screamed at him.

"Damn it Marc this is destroying her!" And he was reluctant to watch his wife breaking under this pressure, under this back-breaking uncertainty.

"But you can't be serious in this. I…I mean you can't tell me that you really think about…about this." His son sounded irritated. Of course for him such a thought never have occured up on his mind. He wasn't a rational thinker. He was more emotional than he wanted to admit and that was what brought him up to the pole right now. But he had to explain him that this wasn't as cold-hearted as it sounded. While he had said these words he only had been thinking about this skinny boy and the fact that he for nothing in the world would have wanted to live on like that, as far as one even was able to consider this stadium as living.

"Do you think this is easy for me? No, it isn't but look at him. Do you see this?" He had stopped screaming. He knew that his thought was the worse one could have in respect to one's own child, but he had to stay rational, otherwise his family would get drwoned in a never being fulfilled hope. He had to keep together what remained from his small family, but without Neil it was a tough plan he tried to realize. He never had thought that his son was filling out such a big piece of their family life, but he did. The day when he had been admitted to hospital all cheer and happiness had been vanished out of their house and until today they hadn't found their way back. He hated himself for these fluffy thoughts, but what should he do? It was like that.

"Yes, I do. But this doesn't justify your behaviour…it…I…you can't tell me that you're really serious." Of course who was able to believe that a father was thinking about killing his son. Killing his son. That was what he was thinking of and it was the worse part of all. He was the one who had given his boy a hard time and he wsa going to be the one who was ending it. How much would he have been able to talk to his son. He wanted him to give him a hint that he knew what to do or what not. The only hint he had was that this fucking uncertainty was not only breaking his wife, but even him. And then again he had to think about his boy and what he probably would say.

"Marc do you think this is, what your brother would have wanted? Being nothing more than an object of occupation?"

"Dad, he's still your son…my brother…he's no object." Marc had stopped hiding his opinions. He had started to say what he thought and he was proud of this change.

"I know that and that's why I'm thinking about this. Look at him! Do you think he would have wanted to be washed and shaved by a stranger, to be fed through a tube under his collarbone? Do you really think this is how he would have wanted to live on?" It sounded impudent when he started to talk about what his son probably would have wanted and what not. But in somehow he had the feeling as is he knew his son, nevertheless how less attention he ever had paid at him. Unfortunately he was more like him that he ever had wished one of his son's was going to be. One didn't realize it on first watch, but if one knew him proper.

"Bu…but…Dad, he's still …my brother. You can't let him go." The first time his son had started to cry. He had all right to do so. He took him into his arm to give him some comfort. He wished he only once had given it to his little boy. He never had. He always had kept the distance between him and his son. In all their five years back he had tried to get a better relationship to Marc, to make things better, he had tried to enjoy his life with Paige trying to restart their love, but he never had tried to improve thinge between him and Neil and he regretted it.

"And he's always going to be your brother." He was sure that they never were going to forget this cheeky monkey. One just wasn't able to do so.

"Maybe he wakes up again. Maybe Mum is right and then … we would take his chance to come back again."

"Even if he waked up again, he would never be the same."

"You…mean this thing with nursing care?" His son asked carefully.

"Do you really think that he would have wanted to lose his whole independency?" This was the fact. Nobody ever had thought that he knew his son, but he did. He had gotten to know him, especially in their time together at NASA. He knew his son and nobody ever were allowed to say something different.

"How can you be like that?" His son asked him confused. He was an emotional person. He wasn't able to understand this, like Paige wasn't able to.

"Dunno." He answered. They staid there for a while and then he went home again. He wanted to give his wife some time for herself to think about what he had said to her. It had hit her hard, but he couldn't hid the facts from her. She needed to face reality, before she got drowned.

* * *

He had sat down on a chair next to his son's bed. Since that day he was thinking about what to do. His son had been right, when he had asked him, whether he had gone insane, by talking like that to Paige. He had shocked her, but she had realized that their situation was hopeless and that she hasn't enough strength to bear more of this horrible uncertainty. After a few weeks she had told him that she was overtaxed and not sure about whether she was able to make a decision. She had stopped talking to her son, as if he still was awake and she had started to realize that there was no life in this body, they both still called their son. Both were aware of the fact that this wasn't their son. Their son had been a cheeky monkey, fooling around and always being on the run. No, this here was only a body. He was nothing more then a machine anymore. No day passed on which they had started to think about what to do and both knew too well they weren't able to make a clear decision. They weren't able to judge about this situation out of an objective point of view. As parent one wasn't able to judge about the life of your own child.

Chuck was glad that Marc still staid at their side. He helped them where ever he was able to. He supported his Mum and even him. Although he had gotten a place at Princeton, he had shifted his start until the next term. He didn't want to leave his parents alone in this situation. He had said that it was his turn to be there for them. Now he and his mother were getting some coffee. It had been a long day. Again they had been talking to a doctor about their son's chances of a recovery and again he had answered them that there was not really something to be expected. Again Paige had started to cry at these words. She wasn't able to let her son go and he wasn't either, but this here was no solution. They needed to make a cut, until this was going to eat them up entirely. Inwardly he was calling himself selfish at this thought, but what could he do either? His son wouldn't have wanted to be the reason for their family getting rotten and he was sure that his son didn't even want to be forced to stay alive in this stadium.

He looked at his son, whose stadium hadn't shown any improvement. 'Hey, skinny. It's your turn. Tell me what to do. I have no idea.' He felt awful. He knew that he was going to kill his own son, in somehow. His son's life lay in his hands and he wanted to give it away. But he had to think of Paige who broke under this situation. There was no day she wasn't crying. She had lost her whole patience. When Neil had fallen into this coma, he had taken a big part of his Mum with him and when he really made this decision his son would take this part with him as past recovery. There was no wrong and no right, no guidance level which told him what was the proper decision. Then he also had to think about his eldest, who gave away his future because of them, although he had found his way. Although he was able to go his way without them criticize him. And he had to think of his youngest who was what he never had wanted to be, an emotionless cold thing without personality.

'Skinny, I need your help, now. I really, really do.' He wished he would have been able to talk to his son like Paige always had done, but there was a wall and he wasn't able to climb it. He sighed. 'Please, you can't let me down.' He was begging for a sign form his son which told him, what to do. He never had believed in supernatural powers but this here was not the time for ideals. He sat there, watching his son's chest moving up and down, and then his glance wandered to his son head focusing this big, ugly tube which had been inserted in his son's mouth and throat. He sat there for a while, enjoying the peace. He wasn't sure if he really enjoyed this peace or if he only fled into a space of not thinking about anything.

This peace got disturbed by coughs, by heavy coughs coming…coming from…his son.

"Neil?…Skinny…" He pressed the button to call for a doctor hysterically. There was nothing going on inside of him. He only watched his son who had left the motionless stadium.

"Neil, c'mon…you can make it…c'mon!" He only realized that someone had entered the room, when he was pushed aside by a doctor. He watched the scene, two doctors in white. They pulled the tube out of his son's throat.

"Oxygen?" One doctor asked?

"Not sufficient, but he's breathing on his own."

"Reflexes?"

"Pupils reacting, eye reflex positive, pain reflex positive." He had no clue what all this was supposed to mean. He only saw how the doctors where makeing some notes, looking at all these monitors.

"That's good." The doctor noted the information. This scene didn't take long.

"Uhm…Doctor…would you like to look at this?" He was stunned by what had happened. Had his son heard his words? Had he given him a sign? Or was this only a mind game and an incident?

"This is…well, we shouldn't be way too optimistic. This also could be caused by something else." The doctor told the other one, not paying any attention to him.

"Okay, but we should have an eye on this." The other one answered.

"Alright."

He watched this scene, not understanding anything, only seeing how his son lay there, without tube in his mouth.

"Doctor, may you tell me what has happened?" He asked one of the men in a more determining voice. He had won back his composure.

"It looks as if your son starts to find his way back to the living. At least his chances are increasing." 'What? The sign?'

"What…didn't you tell me that he might not…I mean?" He was stunned.

"It looks like a wonder, but yes. But the coma still is a medical mystery. As much as we know about it, as much we don't know anything. The only thing which is important now is that your son has good chances to come back again."

"And how long?"

"Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. But you have to think of the risk which remains. It still might be that he falls back into his former stadium." He only nodded. His son has gotten a new chance and he won't let him fading away again. He would do everything he was able to, to bring his son back.

"Mr. Taggart, don't lose hope." The doctor put a hand onto his shoulder.

When the doctor had left he again sat down next to his son's bed. 'C'mon skinny. I know you can make it. If not you who else then? You only need to keep on. I'll help you, promised.' Paige entered the room and immediately noticed the change. She began to be hysterical.

"Chuck, what had happened?" She asked him.

"I don't know, but…it…seems as if he wants to come back again." He started to explain her.

"What? Are you sure?" Paige looked at him, as if she didn't believe what she had said.

"But we shouldn't expect too much. This doesn't mean anything." He started to explain Paige that she shouldn't let hope arise too much in her. He wanted to safe her from a huge disappointment.

"But there's new hope?"

"Only a little, but yes." He took her into his arms. She needed him now. They both needed each other now to help their little son to win this fight.

* * *

Both took a seat. After a while he got up and went to the window, he sat down again. He got up to get a cup of coffee then he sat down again. He and Paige didn't talk much. The atmosphere was strained. Both hoped that their son was on his way back to living. Marc had left them alone. He was tiered of this whole waiting and he could see that his son was strained. He deserved some rest now. Chuck went to get a magazine and came back again. It had become dark outside. He switched on a light at the table next to his son's bed. He sat down again and waited.

It must have been late at night, when he heard a noise again, a weak and quiet groaning. He looked at Paige. The glance in her eyes was indescribable. He got up too, getting as close to his wife as possible.

"Hey, Skinny. Come back." She slightly traced over her son's face, to let him know that there was someone waiting for him.

"Neil?" She asked in a calm and silent voice. She didn't want to spread hectic.

"Hmmm." They heard their son's voice. They saw how these eyes began to open again, slowly, but they began to open.

"C'mon, I'm here." Paige encouraged her son. He only stood there, watching what was happening and then he saw these eyes open again. They looked tiered and a bit numb.

"hmm" Her son still was numb, but the noise which came from him became stronger.

"How are you?" Paige asked carefully. She felt relived. Her son had come back.

His son was back again. His son had heard him and he had listened to him. He always had known that his son never would leave him alone.

"Tiered." Her son whispered and cleared his throat. She realized that he still was too weak.

"Three months is still not enough for you?" She asked, jokingly.

She looked at him and he saw how her eyes filled with tears. She couldn't hold them back. Their son had come back again. They wouldn't have to make this decision. They wouldn't lose their son. Not now. And their son talked to them. His son turned his head and looked confused at him. He still wasn't hundred percent back by now, but he was awake. Again Neil cleared his throat.

"Sore throat?"

"hmm." Chuck took a cup of water and put some ice cubes into it. They had brought them for the case his son would wake up as he did.

"Here, this helps." Neil tried to take the cup, but he wasn't able to hold it. Paige helped him to cool his throat. After their son and taken some sips, she put the cup back onto the table.

"Better?" She asked her baby. He had come back and he was awake and had talked to them. What meant, nevertheless what damages had been caused in his back, he at least would be able to communicate.

"hmmm." Their son didn't seem to lose his numbness and they began to worry. They looked at each other. Both were sure that this might even be harder than having a son in a come. On the other hand they had known before that their son wouldn't be the same, when he would wake up. The damages of his backbones had been way too serious as if his spinal marrow would have been left out of it.

"I go to get a doctor. Try to make him stay awake okay?" He told Paige. She nodded and then paid her whole attention to her son. He left his son for a few seconds. It didn't feel good to do so, but his son's condition worried him more he had thought it would. The worry covered all happiness which had arisen in him, because now the hardest part was coming towards him and Paige. How to tell a boy like Neil that his life as he had known it was over?

She was worried about her little baby who struggled hard to become awake. Maybe there were more damages one had been able to see before? It didn't matter. Her son was back and she was there for him. She wondered why she didn't freak out because of happiness. She hadn't to wonder why. She knew the answer and this was no reason to wonder why. The thought of what was coming towards them was the reason for her to stay calm. Telling her son that his former life was over, that he now depended on other people's help was the worse thing which could have happened to her.

When the doctor came, she had to go outside. She waited with her husband, who also was way too calm. He was thinking the same, for sure. If not he, who else? It seemed as if hours passed until the doctor came out again.

"Mrs. and Mr. Taggart, I want to be honest." 'Oh my God, is it really that bad?' He started to wish he had made his decision earlier. His son never would have been wanted to be only a lifeless body.

'My baby, you don't deserve this.' She stared to wish that she had listened to her husband. Her son wasn't spared anything. She took her husband's hand. They both gave each other hold and support.

"I have no idea what your son is made of and if I wouldn't have had him on my operating table I would start to think that he's everything else than human." The doctor went on. They tried to understand what he wanted to tell him, but it was impossible. He looked at his wife, but she looked questioning herself.

She would have liked to answer her husband's question, but she had no answer.

"But your son's recovery is enormous. The damages in his spinal marrow caused by his broken back bones, hasn't been as serious as to be expected."

"What?" Both asked. He had the feeling as if he was in a wrong movie. Hadn't they told them that in all likelihood his son was going to be a case of nursing care, because of these serious damages?

Did this mean that she would get her baby back? Was this cheeky monkey coming back to her as she had always known him?

"Your son can move every single part of his body, all reflexes are reacting. What means apart from his left knee he will be able to move unlimited as long as he doesn't overdo things." He wasn't able to answer anything.

Her son would be the same again? Her son was going to be the same as he always had been? This was the proof that nothing ever could break her son. Not her, not his father and not even this accident was able to force him to change his life and personality.

"Don't worry I'll take care of it." She answered. And she would do so. She wouldn't allow her son to risk anything.

He was sure that his wife would do so. For her this must have been a gift form heaven, although she wasn't religious at all.

"But you still have to expect late effects as there were chronicle backaches as well as the possibility of an afterwards paraplegia. But if we start early enough with a well elaborated pain and physical therapy, we can even reduce these effects."

"How? I mean…didn't you tell my wife and me that…" He stumbled.

"I can't explain you anything, but you know everything is possible." With these words the doctor left.

That was true. After everything they had seen and gone through they really believed that.

"I go and call Marc." He said to her. His son needed to know this immediately and he cursed himself that he hadn't called his son earlier. And he wanted to give his wife some time alone with her son. She had suffered so badly through all these months. Now she deserved it.

"Okay." She answered him. She gave him a kiss, before she turned towards the door. It was a kiss, which explained every feeling of hers to him.

She entered the room. They weren't able to express what was going inside of them. Her son had turned aside, curled together, as far as it was possible for him to do so. Another doctor still was there, making some notes. Her baby still was awake, shivering badly.

"A nurse will bring another blanket." The doctor assured her as she sat down again next to her son.

"Hey, everything's alright?" She asked him in a quite voice.

"Wanna…go…ho…home." Her son managed to pronounce his first sentence, disturbed by shivers.

"Don't worry honey. You'll be home again soon." She stroked through her son's hair. She wasn't able to remember whether she had done this before that accident and she realized that this was the first time she also was physically that close to her son. Her son started to try to get rid of all the tubes and cables which had been fixed on his body. She carefully took her son's hand.

"These better remain where they are."

"He's a bit confused, that's normal. Tomorrow things will be better. But nevertheless he still needs a lot of rest. Three months coma isn't the same as three months sleep. We've also given him some painkillers. His last surgery on his back had been two weeks ago and it's better if we don't confront him with everything right at the beginning." The doctor said. A nurse came with another blanket. She gently covered her son with it

"Here we are. Now it's better." The nurse said and then she and the doctor left her alone with her little boy. His glance became clearer with every passing minute. Her son again cleared his throat. Having a tube in one's throat must be one of the most awful things she could imagine.

"Could you give me some …water please?" Her son whispered. The first clear sentence. Her little son really was back now.

"Sure." She put some more ice cubes into the cup. This time her son was able to hold it on his own.

"Your throat hurts?"

"hmm." He was losing his numbness but he had no clue where it had come from and what did this glance in his mother's face was supposed to mean? 'And where in hell am I?'

"What happened?" He asked his Mum.

"What?" She didn't believe that her son really had asked this question.

Why was she that confused? This was his part at leas it seemed as if everybody knew about everything, only he had no clue.

"Your accident, Holly, her drunken aunt and her pickup truck remember, you're in a hospitall?" His Mum asked back. She started with these things, before she was going to tell him what was wrong with him.

'Accident? Okay, I missed something. Hospital? No, I already had this, I didn't need this again. Shit.'

"Nope, but that's the reason why I'm here?" Her son really had no idea what had happened, but maybe it was better that way. She couldn't believe that one would have liked to be able to remember anything like that. She nodded.

"And why do you look like that?" He asked carefully. He didn't want to force his Mum to the edge of fury right at the beginning only because he had messed it up again. Who knew which stupid action had let to this result

Her son's voice still sounded weak, but what he said sounded clear.

"Because of you honey." She answered.

"That bad?" He had seen his Mum like that only once and that had been in the time after Marc went AWOL. In conclusion this meant that what had happened wasn't only like getting a little scratch.

"The doctor told us that you'll never wake up again or at least that if you would do so, you were going to be severe disabled, a case of nursing care. And now after over three months you wake up and the only late effect you'll carry away is a backache." She answered, while she was taking his hand into hers. It was cold to the touch, but lying motionless for three months definitely wasn't good for one's circulation.

"Oh." Her son only answered. She looked at him, who began to be thoughtful. In a brainwave he realized that he was able to start with his life from new, now where their mission had found an end. In the same second he realized that he wasn't alone. His Mum was there. Since when did someone really care? Maybe things really had gotten the wrong meaning through the wrong way they had taken.

He felt a warm touch on his shoulder. He tried to turn around, but wasn't able to, something on his back hindered him.

"Hey skinny, you gave us quite a scare." It was his father's voice. He got next to his Mum. He looked tiered.

He was glad to see his son awake again. The glance in his eyes had become clear and cheeky again. His son was going to be the same again there was nothing to be doubted about that.

"Yeah, sorry." He felt a bit uncomfortable. Only because of him, his whole family has had troubled months and this although he had sworn that this was never going to happen anymore.

"I leave you two alone. I guess there are some things you want to talk about." His Mum said.

He hadn't gotten a chance to talk about their mission, its end and what had happened to his son. Neil fell asleep a few minutes after his Mum had left. He staid there for a while and watched his son's peace- and restful sleep. He deserved it. He had fought such a hard fight and he had won it. Only his son could be such a tough cookie. He stroked through his son's hair, before he went home.

This night all went to bed in peace. He realized that this accident had welted them together: Paige, Marc, Neil and even he had become one family. But it was tragically that they had needed such an experience to realize the value of family. Neil, his little boy had brought them together. Nevertheless this result felt good. They had managed to get their family back.


	24. Chapter 24

**H**e stood there watching the shuttle starting into the sky, leaving the atmosphere and this world far, far behind. He took a deep drag of his cigarette and let the smoke slowly flower out in his mouth, his lungs, before he exhaled it. He watched how the shuttle left into the misery of zero gravity. He felt how his heart was getting sadden. This dream he has had had gotten in in accessible distance. But this one single time which had caused their advanture. The shuttle was becoming smaller and smaller and only left a blue sky and the red Texan dessert. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"This hurts what?"

"If I'd said no, would you have believed me?" He looked into his father's eyes. The months after he had woken up had been hard and painful. There hadn't been a day on which he hadn't wished he had died in this accident, but he could have counted on his Mum, his father and even on Marc. They had given him the strength he had needed then to go through this hell. When he thought back it had felt good that things had found another way as the one they had taken before. They still hadn't gotten a normal parents-child relationship. For that it had happened too much or better there had been too much which hadn't happened, but they were good friends and that was more he ever had expected they could be. And even his relationship with Marc had gotten better. It felt good not to be alone, having someone he could count on.

"No, I hadn't." They stood there, watching how the shuttle became a small point before it vanished.

"Do you have one for me?" His father asked.

"I thought you prefer the big ones?" His Mum nearly had killed him, when she had foud out that he had started smoking, but the last year had been so full of work and stress and besides he never was going to enter a shuttle again, so why not?

"Just wanna try something new." He handed his father a cigarette and his lighter.

"Besides what are you doing here?" His father asked.

"Just a little chat with Scrivens. Fucking hell, how couldn't you've told be before that he's alive? I had prepared for a rumble with lady merciless." He had been stunned when he had entered the room and found Ed Scrivens sitting behind his desk, the desk where he expected Hodge to be sitting at.

"Uh…didn't I mention it? But why did you talk to Ed Scrivens?"

"Just a job offer." He still like to tease his father with not telling him everything right from the beginning.

"A what?" His father looked shocked at him. He couldn't hide a cheeky smile. He hadn't told anyone about it, because he hadn't been sure if this was what he wanted and if he had what it took to get this offer.

"A job offer for the area of engineering and design."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"This wasn't the only job offer I've received. I first wanted to think about each."

"There were more? Hell Neil, what have you done?" His father looked surprised at him. Yes he had gotten a distance between him and his family, but it wasn't the same which had built the grudge before. It was more like having his own life now, managing everything on his own, making his own decisions and not being forced to explain and justify everything to his family. It was the distance which prevailed between people on the same level. There was no subordination. His parents had started to respect his life, his decision and him a fully independent person, without fights, hurt and tears. He took his bag and handed his father a paper. His father read it.

"Well, this is the reason why we hadn't gotten any live sign from you for over one year?" His father asked critical.

"Uh…yeah." There had been even other things which had occupied his time, but he didn't want to tell his father about this, because this was his privacy.

"Do we have to call you Dr. Taggart now or is Neil still okay for you?" His father asked jokingly.

"Dweeb."

"Does your Mum know about it?"

"Uh…not yet…uhm…"

"Neil! You kept this message from us? Why?" His father now didn't sound too happy about that. But he has had his reasons for keeping it to himself. They wanted to celebrate this moment in peace with each other. They couldn't have done so, if his parents would have known about it. He only looked at his father, trying to explain him his situation without words.

"Neil?" His father still was critical towards this message. Attempt failed now he had to tell him the truth.

"Okay! I have a new girlfriend and we wanted to have some time for us, after I nearly vanished in the labs for one year." Here it was and now he was sure there was some smug answer coming towards him.

"What did I tell you about your testosterone?" His father fortunately didn't sound mad.

"Uhm…yeah I know, and I should start with this controlling thing if I don't wanna give her reasons to geld me legally." His father began to laugh. He didn't found this that funny, because sometimes he thought that his girl really was capable of doing so. She had her ideals, but that was what he liked her for.

"This sounds like a strong, intelligent woman, like your mother is. I only can recommend don't annoy her way too much, you won't survive this."

"But you're still looking quite alive." His father gave him a paddywhack on the back of his head.

"Hit and sunk." He commented.

His father handed him the paper back. The shuttle now was completely vanished from earth. They went back. He put the paper back into his bag.

"Your Mum is going to kill you for this." His father pointed at a magazine about motorbikes.

"Yeah, that's why I waited with this until I moved into my own apartment." He didn't care about the accident. It hadn't been his fault and a life with out bike? Impossible for him. He had to fight so hard for his right in this case and he wasn't going toe let a drunken bitch forbid him this.

"What about a beer?" His father put his arm chummily around his shoulder.

"Uh…I'm still no twenty-one and we're living in the US this could be a little problematic."

"Let me handle this. Things like that needed to be celebrated in a proper way."

"Besides did you know that in Europe they're allowed to drink beer at the age of sixteen?"

"Yes, I once lived in one of those countries, remember. But how do you know?"

"Uhm…my girlfriend comes from Europe she's only doing her masters degree here."

"In what?"

"You don't wanna know that." His father didn't need to know everything right now.

With these words they got into the old blue mustang and drove off, following the sun back into the city.


End file.
